Miley Cyrus teased her VMA performance hardcore for the past several weeks. We were expecting fireworks. Twerk tournaments. Live births. We don’t know, we were expecting EVERYTHING from the performance she wouldn’t stop talking about.
Then the day came.
We weren’t surprised when Miley stepped out of an oversized TEDDY BEAR wearing a silver teddy-leotard with white Keds and immediately thrust her tongue out of her mouth while wrapping her leg around the bear. None of that surprised us.
Then she twerked with her twerk team. Then she put her face in the a*s of a very large woman. But the moment of terrifying truth was when Robin Thicke came on stage to sing "Blurred Lines" and Miley Cyrus made Robin Thicke’s wife hate her forever.
By this point, Miley is wearing a flesh-colored bra and undies and was grinding on Robin and doing something to his neck that we can only describe as a “thug hicky.”
And we thought that Lady Gaga’s performance was ridiculous?
Hah. Watch the cringeworthy performance below and don’t be surprised if the apocalypse happens because “Miley grinding in a flesh-colored bra” is surely a sign of end times.