The Stage 5 Clingers of Hollywood

March 2, 2013 By:
The Stage 5 Clingers of Hollywood
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“She’s a stage 5 clinger” is probably the best line from Wedding Crashers. It's one of the worst things you can say about a chick.

You know the type. The high school girlfriend that shows up at your college dorm-room unannounced because she asked the RA for your room key, she’s a clinger. Oh and before you get all sexist on us, guys can be clingers too. Real bad.

These are Hollywood’s biggest clingers.

Mila Kunis: We never pegged Mila for a clinger type, but lately she’s been on a media blitz and is revealing in every interview how she’s a homebody, how she wants to quit acting to be a producer so she can “work from home” and be closer to Ashton, and how she wants to be a stay-at-home mom real soon. We anticipate her and Ashton getting engaged as soon as his divorce from Demi is official in May.

Lindsay Lohan: Lindsay may be a swinging (i.e. crazy) single NOW, but for a while she was Samantha Ronson’s other half. Remember that? How insane and crazy they were and how they just wouldn’t break-up because LiLo was a CLINGER! And then she was clinging to Wilmer Valderrama and that married hotelier Vikram Chatwal.

Taylor Swift: Oh, Taylor what would it do to you to be single for like a month! This girl is the definition of a clinger because her longest relationship lasted 3 months. It might sound like she’s a player, but don’t be fooled, she clings and then she drops. Last we checked she hooked up with Ed Sheeran.

Jennifer Love Hewitt: Oh, J.Love Hewitt is the OG of clingers. She was engaged once, but her fiancé Ross McCall broke it off because she would call him and say, “Can you come and sit with me? I’m cold.”

Jason Segel: Alas, a dude who’s a clinger. Did you see the first movie Jason Segel wrote and starred in, Forgetting Sarah Marshall? How he moped around on his couch when his girlfriend (played by Kristen Bell) dumped him? Yeah, that was based on a real relationship he had with his “Freaks and Geeks” co-star Linda Cardellini. His recent breakup from Michelle Williams happened because he was pushing for a bigger commitment and she wasn't ready.