Lindsay Lowdown: Courtroom Woes and Stripper Heels

January 30, 2013 By:
Lindsay Lowdown: Courtroom Woes and Stripper Heels
Image By: Splash News

Here are the latest happenings in our favorite Hollywood trainwreck's life...

Lindsay Lohan In Court:  She appeared—late—to court for a pretrial probation violation hearing. Here, her brand new lawyer, Mark Heller, put on his best New Yorker charm, telling Judge Stephanie Sautner that it was “an honor” to appear before her.

“Flattery doesn’t get you anywhere in this courtroom,” Sautner informed him.

It was hit-or-miss as to whether or not Lindsay was actually going to show up, due to a faked upper respiratory infection. “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Sautner quipped to the troubled actress.

Not much happened at the hearing other than some back-and-forth about scheduling.  

Trial is set for March 18. Lindsay does not need to be present in court until then, due to the fact that her probation violation is a misdemeanor.

Do Not Disturb: The “Liz & Dick” star and her mother, Dina Lohan, were denied access to L.A. hotels Shutters and Loews early Wednesday morning. Lindsay has reportedly been blacklisted from both establishments due to a room-trashing incident dating back to 2007. Also, they don't have a AAA discount.

Busted: While she avoided going to jail for now, there was no denying that LiLo was busted today—namely, in her appearance.

As Lindsay sat dazed beside Heller, trying to hold back a smile, her hair was frantically parted and pulled back, bags hung under her eyes, and her vodka pillow face had returned.

Some sites have also noted that, in her haste to get ready this morning, Lindz had neglected to spray tan her legs. Her pasty legs contrasted with her orangey torso and arms, which on sight cameras captured in the most unforgiving way possible.

The stripper heels that she showed up in didn’t help, either. We expected Lindsay to show up looking worse than the wreckage of Hurricane Sandy and she came through with flying colors.

It should also be noted that the stumbling starlet’s lawyer did have a rabbit’s foot attached to his bag… Hope it helps!