Last year Lindsay Lohan made a movie called The Canyons. It was supposed to be her return to cinematic glory, but then the movie was publicly rejected by all the film festivals and Lindsay’s on-set diva behavior (Lindsay’s a “train wreck” says the director) overshadowed any news about the actual film.
After they released some BS teaser trailer that was mostly text and dramatic voiceovers, they have finally released an actual preview.
The trailer is basically Lindsay and her smoker’s lungs puffing out bad dialogue and close-up shots of Lindsay making cinematic love to actual p*rn star turned actor James Deen while he says things like, “I make my own movies,” which we’re supposed to interpret as “sex tapes?”
The trailer isn’t as bad as we were expecting, but it’s impossible to know what this movie is about. All we know is what we heard about it, which is that it’s some flashy low-budget thriller about the perils of Hollywood and judging by this trailer, it’s also a soft-core nudie flick.
At the end of the trailer it says, “in select theaters or in the privacy of your home,” and then there’s an icon of a computer screen and a cell phone. Are we supposed to watch this movie on our phones? What is this? America!? Lindsay!? What is happening!?