Sorry, Jersey Shore. You’re not everyone’s guilty pleasure. The Italian city of Florence has done everything short of building an electric fence to keep the cast of Jersey Shore out of its city.
The first roadblock the show encountered was finding a venue willing to allow the Jersey Shore cast through its doors. One Italian newspaper wrote, “They embody the worst stereotypes of Italians, multiplied by thousands, and Americanized.”
Ironically, most of the cast isn’t even Italian. In fact, an Olive Garden restaurant is probably more Italian than the cast of Jersey Shore. But this hasn’t stopped Florence from delaying shooting by nearly two months now.
A local school also sent a letter to students warning them against mingling with the cast, signing contracts to appear on the show, or interacting with them. “We advise you to NOT sign any paper… keep us informed”, officials warned.
I’m pretty sure that, after Ronnie’s behavior last season, the school officials think he’s an actual gorilla. “Do not make eye contact or any sudden movements. The giant ape, named ‘Ronnie’, is dangerous and known to throw young ladies off of beds.”
Last weekend, the cast almost made it. After showing up at the Newark airport for the flight to Italy, they received word that shooting was once again delayed, forcing them to head back home. Italian authorities reportedly revoked the permits that would allow the Jersey Shore cast and crew to tape at various historic sites in the city.
Face it, Jersey Shore, Italy doesn’t want you. But not to worry, there are plenty of other cities I’m sure would be perfect for the infamous guidos and guidettes. So which cities would be the perfect backdrop for the Jersey Shore cast?
We vote the industrial city of Bakersfield, California. With all of the pollution, the massive fumes from all the spray tanning wouldn’t make a difference. In fact, the cast might even get the perfect orange glow from all of the smog!
Next on the list is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Milwaukee was named the number One Most Hungover City of 2011, so the cast should fit right in! And let’s face it, Wisconsin could use some excitement. Why do you think they’re all hungover? There’s nothing else to do there but drink!
And what about Austin, Texas? Not only will all the girls fit right in with the big Texas hair, but Austin was recently named the most romantic city in the U.S. Hey, Sammi and Ronnie can use all the help they can get. And Snooki already has like five pink cowboy hats—perfect for Texas. Now all they need is a bumper sticker that says “NOBAMA”.
Say what you will about the cast of Jersey Shore, but somebody’s watching it—because MTV already has three spinoffs in the works, featuring Snooki and JWoww, Pauly D, and The Situation.
Go ahead, watch them. We won’t tell anyone.