Ever since he was fired from Two and a Half Men, life has been pretty awesome for Charlie Sheen. He had one of the most anticipated roasts in Comedy Central history, he reunited with his ex-wife, and he got a huge settlement with Warner Bros for doing absolutely nothing.
Ashton, on the other hand? Well, we won't get into it. But he did. In a hot tub. With a blonde bimbo. It seems like ever since Ashton Kutcher inherited Charlie Sheen's role on Two and a Half Men, he inherited all of Sheen's problems, too.
So remember when Charlie Sheen said he was a warlock? Well, we're engaging the possibility that maybe he wasn't joking.
Stay with me here.
Charlie Sheen was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, which explains a lot of his lucky breaks. But a middle-aged man behaving the way he does—famous or not—usually doesn’t have favorable results. Look at Mel Gibson. Charlie Sheen, on the other hand, is on top of the world. And anyone that crosses his path seems to feel his wrath. Coincidence, or curse?
Let's examine this. Ashton has been on Two and a Half Men now for three weeks. In those three weeks, Ashton went from a happy marriage to an all-out cheating scandal, complete with photographic evidence and an interview. The actor is now "asking Demi not to file for divorce, but there is nothing he can do to stop her," according to an insider. And to top it all of, Two and a Half Men's ratings haven’t been doing so well, either.
"Ashton is concerned that the ratings are dropping each week," a source close to the actor recently said.
So yeah, let's take a deeper look into that Charlie Sheen Curse theory. Where else has Charlie left a looming cloud of doom?
Look at the Brat Pack. Charlie Sheen was part of the infamous 1980s group, consisting of Ally Sheedy, Rob Lowe, and Demi Moore, among others. Sheedy battled eating disorder, Rob Lowe had a sex scandal and Moore…well, you know what happened with that. Then again, we can't really blame Charlie Sheen for the typical problems of young Hollywood.
During his Violent Torpedo of Truth tour, Sheen donned a Tigers hat while in Detroit. The tigers have had a really good season, but they lost their first two games to the Yankees shortly after Sheen wore that hat. Sure, that's just the way sports goes, but I like to think that Charlie Sheen Curse had something to do with it.
Then there's Denise Richards. Before Charlie came along, Denise had a flourishing film career. Remember her last movie? Exactly, me neither. In fact, the most I remember her doing lately is pushing her book, which was basically all about Charlie Sheen anyway. Then, Denise lost her best friend, Heather Locklear, when she swiped her ex. She broke girl code, and the dude left her. Cursed, I tell you.
Then, Paris Hilton's reality show, The World According to Paris, failed miserably, after its biggest draw was Brooke Mueller, Sheen's once-ex. Sheen and Hilton are also neighbors, and around the time of his meltdown, Paris Tweeted, " 'Hey Neighbor, I think I might have #Tigerblood and I'm definitely #Winning!" Well, not with a reality comeback.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians? Still going strong. No direct Charlie connection there.
I know, I know. It's kind of a stretch. And I don't usually believe in curses. But Charlie Sheen keeps winning, inexplicably. If it's not a curse, it's definitely an unsolved mystery.