Recap: The X-Factor's Second Episode

September 23, 2011 By:
Recap: The X-Factor's Second Episode

Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I cried a little bit at the dude who sang the Elvis song. I mean, everyone else was. I was all, "this is stupid, I'm too cool for this" until Simon Cowell told him, "I absolutely love you." Then, I was in tears.

Other than that, the talent was hit and miss. Lets start with the hits. 49 year old Dexter Haygood took the stage to sing Sex Machine. Then Simon asks him to sing another song, and he belts out It's a Man's Man's Man's World.

We find out Haygood once toured with Hall and Oates but has recently fallen on hard times. He's homeless, basically. The judges give him a chance, though they weren't 100% thrilled with his performance.

Caitlin Koch, a rugby player, gives a sultry rendition of The Supremes' Stop! In the Name of Love, and it was awesome. The judges are all unanimous—it's a yes.

Then there was the aforementioned Nick Voss, who sang Elvis Presley's Trouble. His boss fired him for taking two days off to try out for the show. Lucky for him, the judges tell him he's in.

Maybe the most awesome performance of the night was Melanie Amaro, who sang Beyonce's Listen. Melanie should've totally rubbed her belly onstage for the full effect. At any rate, she brings Nicole Sherzinger to tears.

Okay, that was about it for the good stuff. Now let's move on to the less-than-stellar performances and overall weirdness.

Xander Alexander. This guys name already screams assh-le. He insults Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Bruno Mars and Jay-Z. And then he gets to Simon Cowell. "Have you ever worn a shirt that isn't grey?" he quips. Then, he threatens to fight Simon. "If you want me to come down there let's go, we can go outside!" And mind you, this was before he started singing. His voice wasn't bad, but Simon tells him he blew it.

Then there was Dylan Lawson, an 18 year-old guy who sold his truck to get to the auditions. His performance is bizarre and terrible. Curtis Lawson, a 19 year-old street vendor sounds kind of scary, and Simon tells him to speak "human."

And yes, Simon still has the witty, brutal honesty we were used to hearing from him in American Idol. When 17 year-old Jonny Rogers takes the stage, Simon says he looks like a "Justin Bieber doll gone wrong in a Chinese factory."

In short, there's more crazy than talent so far in the X-Factor. But then again, this is just the second episode and they want to get us hooked with the weirdos during the audition process. I'm guessing Idol's got some competition.