Sometimes when you gotta pee, you gotta pee. Even it's in on a plane, in the aisle, surrounded by other people. Okay, none of the situations are ever okay, unless you're Gerard Depardieu.
Gerard Depardieu, a french actor, was on an Air France jet on Tuesday and while the plane was waiting to take off he told one of the flight attendants, "Je veux pisser," which means "I have to pee."
But apparently the seatbelt light was still on and the flight attendant told him he'd have to wait 15 minutes. Apparently Depardieu didn't have 15 minutes to spare and unzipped his pants right then and there and peed on the aisle carpet, in front of all the other passengers.
The jet had to return to the gate and spend 2 hours cleaning up the plane, meaning everyone's flight was delayed by 2 hours. That's a lot of French people who were really really PISSED off. That's a pee joke. Get it?
Anyways, Depardieu was escorted from the plane. When that happened, I'm sure the other 127 passengers were RELIEVED. I'm sorry, another pee joke, I'm done.
Witnesses say he was intoxicated, "You could tell he'd been drinking," claims a passenger. Uh, ya think? Unless he was shot-gunning green tea, but that wouldn't explain the public exposure.
We may not be very familiar with Gerard Depardieu, but he's one of France's biggest film stars. To put it in perspective, him peeing on an airplane is like if Leonardo DiCaprio took a dump on top of the bar at Chateau Marmont.
Two friends who were traveling with Depardieu at the time said he was "absolutely not drunk" and was trying to pee into a bottle. Ok, If peeing in a bottle doesn't say "drunk," I don't know what does. The only time it's ever okay to pee in a bottle is if you are a) in prison b) homeless or c) tailgating a football game.
The best thing about the whole incident is that Air France released a statement that Depardieu "did indeed urinate in the aircraft."
I can imagine the pilot speaking over the intercom, "Ladies and Gentleman, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Flight number 293, nonstop from France to Dublin. I'm going to dim the cabin lights, Oh also, someone did urinate in the aircraft."
Depardieu is known for his, uhm, antics? He told a British interviewer in 2005 that he drank "between four and eight bottles" of wine a day, he head-butted a photog in Italy, and called a French interviewer a b-tch on TV. So really, just another day at the office for Depardieu.