Relationship Expert: How to Know Your Man is Pulling a Tiger

April 26, 2010 By:
Relationship Expert: How to Know Your Man is Pulling a Tiger

Now that Tiger Woods and Jesse James’ affairs are public knowledge, we want to know what both women are going to do next. Elin Nordegren and Sandra Bullock have each reportedly looked into getting a divorce, but neither have officially filed.

Hollyscoop talked EXCLUSIVELY with Dr. Ish Major, board-certified adult psychiatrist and author of new book Little White Whys: A Woman’s Guide Through the Lies Men Tell and Why, who gave his take on the situations. Here’s what we asked him:

HS: Can Sandra really go back to Jesse and go back to their normal life? If she were to go back, would he continue to cheat?

She should do now what she should have done prior to them getting married and take a good hard look at this man’s history. Every guy has a ‘type’ of woman he’s ultimately attracted to and as men we don’t ever stray to far from that pattern. Sandra was a great departure from Jesse’s ‘type’ and consequently he eventually sought out that type of woman he knows best or is most familiar with. Also, most men who get caught cheating typically respond with lots and lots of promises i.e. how things will be better, how they’ve ‘learned so much’, and how this will never ever happen again if they’re given another chance.

In regards to going back to him and having a ‘normal life’, no. That is not possible at this point. After such a public humiliation and rejection with women so vastly different from her in nature and appearance it is impossible for her to go back to what they were. This typically causes an enormous amount of self-doubt in the wife not to mention the hurt and anger/rage reactions. My advice to her would be to move on! Doesn’t she deserve better?

HS: Will Tiger stop messing around? Is Elin stupid to stay with Tiger?

Again, the chances are slim for him to want to change his behavior. He has no reason to. He’s still the top golfer in the world. He still makes tons of money from endorsements.

I wouldn’t say she’s stupid for staying. I’d say she did what most women do and that’s look to believe the best in her man and do what she thinks would be best for the children. Which oddly enough usually doesn’t mean that it’s the best thing for her.

HS: Both Tiger and Jesse went to sex rehab, can it save them or is it just a PR stunt?

The rehab they both enrolled in was based on the addiction model of sexual addiction. We don’t know if cheating totally consumed their time or was simply a pastime. We don’t know if their cheating actually limited them in any other areas of their life. The only negative consequence we know of for sure is that they in fact got caught! Being a man who cheats on your wife is a far cry from being a true sex addict. My guess is that their ‘treatment’ is more related to having a positive media spin to gain empathy and retain popularity.

HS: How can a woman know her man is cheating?

Pay attention to her intuition Pay attention to the obvious signs (lack of attention, unaccounted for time, tardiness, and secretive/sneaky behavior) I tell women “If you think he’s cheating…he probably is…”

HS: Does happily ever after really exist?

Yes, it absolutely does exist! The key is starting off on the same page at the same time. You both have to be moving in the same general direction in life. You both have to be ready to be totally transparent with each other about your shortcomings…if any. You both have to be totally honest with each other about what it really takes to make you happy…specifics…not generalities. You both have to be totally honest about your goals for the relationship. The 5 most common reasons for relationships fail are:
Communication problems
Financial issues
Forms of abuse
Sexual problems
Marital infidelity
Avoid these five things as much as possible and the road to happily ever after gets that much easier to travel!