In the most recent issue of InStyle Taylor Swift revealed that she doesn’t care if her exes write scathing songs about her, like she does about them, because she is the WORLD’S CHILLEST GIRLFRIEND.

“If I’m gonna write songs about my exes, they can write songs about me,” says Taylor, “That’s how it works.”

Yeah, guys, that’s how it works! That’s how music works, duh, omg, Napster and walkman and jewel cases, don’t you know anything!

“I’m not gonna complain about it,” says Tay, “I’m not gonna sit there and say, ‘I’m the only one who can write songs about this relationship.’”

Anyways, NONE of Tay’s ex-boyfriends have written songs about her YET. We went and took the liberty of writing those songs for them, even for the boyfriends that don’t even sing, because this is Hollywood and everyone has an album in them somewhere, waiting to come out.

Here are the titles of songs Taylor’s ex-boyfriends SHOULD write about her (since they totally are allowed to).

John Mayer: Dear John (Return To Sender)

Conor Kennedy: At Least I Made My Friends Jealous For A Summer

Jake Gyllenhaal: You Broke My Heart, Like You Brokeback Mountain

Zac Efron: We Never Ever Ever Even Got Together

Cory Monteith: It’s A Fairytale Because You Made It Up

Chord Overstreet: Love Story at the Lake Show

Joe Jonas: 27 Seconds of Heaven

Taylor Lautner: December Sucked.

Lucas Till: Remember Me?

Eddie Redmayne: I am Les Miserable.

Harry Styles: Should’ve Said No