Taylor Swift has a new album coming out, despite not really dating anyone lately. I’m not sure how she put together an album without a single terrible breakup this year, but somehow, Taylor managed to do it.
“I got nothing going on!” Swift tells the February issue of Vogue. “I just don’t really feel like dating. I really have this great life right now.”
Indeed, Taylor has been relatively low-key in the dating department since her New Year’s 2011 breakup with Jake Gyllenhaal.
“I’m not sad and I’m not crying this Christmas, so I am really stoked about that,” Swift said.
Okay, so what happened with you and Jake?
“I am not gonna go into it! It’s a sad story!”
That’s cool, I’ll just listen to your album. Taylor graces the February cover of Vogue, looking stunning, with her piercing blue eyes and a 70s-inspired oversized floppy hat.
Swift tells Vogue that she’s learned some lessons and now has a few dating rules when looking for Mr. Right:
Rule #1: Taylor Is More Than a Google Trend. "If someone doesn't seem to want to get to know me as a person but instead seems to have kind of bought into the whole idea of me and he approves of my Wikipedia page? And falls in love based on zero hours spent with me? That's maybe something to be aware of. That will fade fast. You can't be in love with a Google search."
Rule #2: Don’t be Threatened by Taylor. "If you need to put me down a lot in order to level the playing field or something? If you are threatened by some part of what I do and want to cut me down to size in order to make it even? That won't work either," she says.
Rule #3: Get Over Taylor’s Bodyguards. "If a dude is threatened by the fact that I need security, if they make me feel like I am some sort of princessy diva--that's a bad sign. I don't have security to make myself look cool, or like I have an entourage. I have security because there's a file of stalkers who want to take me home and chain me to a pipe in their basement."
Um. Maybe there should be a fourth rule about not taking Taylor home and chaining her to a pipe in a basement…
“There’s just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash-and-burn heartbreak,” Swift revealed. “And that will turn out to be what the next album is about.”
It’s awesome that Taylor can transform the sad things that happen in her life into chart-topping hits. I should try that. But I just can’t see a song about not getting Coachella tickets taking off. Maybe though. Maybe there’s something there.
“The only way that I can feel better about myself, pull myself out of that awful pain of losing someone—is writing songs about it to get some sort of clarity,” Taylor says.