Taylor Swift Breaks Up With Conor Kennedy – Why We're Not Surprised

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Taylor Swift Breaks Up With Conor Kennedy – Why We\'re Not Surprised

Taylor Swift broke up with her still-a-senior-in-High-School boyfriend Conor Kennedy probably because she caught a glimpse of his birth certificate and did the math on their ages and was like, “so when I was learning what a tampon was my boyfriend was still memorizing the pledge of allegiance….hmmmm.”

Jokes aside, you guys, Taylor and Conor are donzo and do you know what the worst part of this break-up is? She literally JUST bought a home in Hyannisport, MA so she could BE CLOSE TO HIM! She wrote several new songs about him on her new album “Red”, which is on sale now at Target and everywhere that CD’s are sold! Does Conor even know how serious they were?!!? How serious they could have been!!!?!??

Apparently their break-up was because she’s too busy and they live too far apart.

“They quietly parted ways a while ago,” a friend of Taylor’s told Us Weekly, “It was just a distance thing. No hard feelings. They’re fine.”

“It’s been over a month since they’ve even seen each other,” adds the friend, “With her promotion for Red, she has no time off until the end of the year.”

Here’s why we aren’t surprised at all.

Taylor is thirsty. No, not in the “I need water” way, in like a desperate way. She’s “thirsty” for men, haven’t you ever heard anyone say that before? Uggh, catch up with my lingo. 

Taylor's relationships tend to be short-term. John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, Taylor Lautner, these are all minute-long relationships. She just runs through ‘em then writes songs about them like they were halfway to the altar.

Conor was too young. I’ve already said my peace about his 18-years-of-age. He’s not even in college. He can’t go to bars. The only photos of them together are from his parents house playing tug-o-war in the backyard. Like I said, he’s too young.

Whatever, I just can’t wait to buy this break-up song.

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