Taylor Swift wasted no time breaking up with her latest publicity stunt boyfriend, Harry Styles. And, with the makeup, breakup pattern becoming so consistent, does anyone really care anymore?
On a Monday episode of “Conan,” the hilarious squad at Team Coco did what no other outlet has fully dared to do yet: Call the country crossover out on her boyfriend BS.
Last week, Taylor sent a tweet out to her near 23 million followers: “Back in the studio. Uh oh..." it read.
The result was a collective eye-roll from the public that had fallen for this ploy one too many times already.
“As is her custom,” Conan explained in his monologue, “Taylor has already written a song about this particularly painful breakup.”
A parody clip followed that broke down Taylor’s diary-like songwriting style. Newsflash: It ain’t that complicated…
In the clip, there’s a whiny and off-key female voice that sings vague lyrics like: “I’ll never forget the night we met” and “You kept me warm and dry with your smile.”
Like a game of MadLibs, when the song requires a somewhat specific detail, the clip cuts to a male voiceover that reads a title card of the “insert element here” aspect. For instance: “[Synonym for ‘sadness’ that rhymes with ‘ain't.’]”
Possibly the best part of the whole thing is the boyfriend dropdown list—ranging from Harry, to Conor, to Guy from "Twilight”—to allow the track to fit any ex, past or future.
In other news, despite what she should have totally seen coming as a speedy breakup, Taylor apparently planned an Italian getaway with Harry before the split.
According to the UK’s Sun, the trip was complete with a five-night stay at the Palazzina Grassi on the Grand Canal including private gondola rides. (I hope they have a good refund policy…)
Instead, as we previously reported, Harry will spend the time partying in Vegas with Justin Bieber, which—let’s face it—is probably more fun anyway.
Save some money on her next album and check out Swift’s newest song-to-be here: