The 10 Most Frustrating Hollywood Mysteries

January 19, 2013 By:
The 10 Most Frustrating Hollywood Mysteries
Image By: wenn.com

We here at Hollyscoop are in the business of getting down to the nitty-gritty of what’s really going on in the lives of the people who spend their time in the spotlight.

But some questions, no matter how much research and rep-calling we do, can never be answered. Here are 10 of them:

1. What’s in the Pulp Fiction Briefcase? — Similar to the question, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop,” comes this conundrum? Whatever it is, Vincent is definitely happy about it.

2. Why Can’t Taylor Swift Keep a Boyfriend? — At 15 boyfriends and counting in just three years (on average, that’s a new guy every 2.4 months), there’s got to be something wrong with this girl, right? Does she turn into Donnie Darko or something behind closed doors? 

3. When Will Brangelina Finally Get Married? — I have no idea, do you? Following their big engagement announcement, followed closely by photos of Angelina’s equally massive ring, this topic has been on the back burner since early last year. Is a 2013 ceremony on the way? Will they hold off until gay marriage is nationally legal? Until all six of their kids graduate college? The world may never know.

4. What the Hell is Adele’s Baby’s Name? — We’ve finally confirmed it’s a boy. The British songstress and her boyfriend Simon Konecki welcomed their first child in October, but the kid is still, as far as the press is concerned, unnamed.  

5. What Ever Happened to Amanda Bynes? — Remember, what? Like a few months ago when Amanda was getting drunk and crashing into cop cars and popping up in every other headline? Where’d that crazy binge kitten go? (One sec while I Google search) Oh, no worries, guys…  She’s just posting pictures of her newly-pierced cheek on Tumblr. Yup, still crazy…

6. How Many Dogs Does Miley Cyrus Actually Have? There’s Floyd and Mary Jane and Ziggy… Wait, which one died again? And then there’s that new one that looks like a burrito… Side note: what ever happened to all of Paris Hilton’s dogs?

7. Is Courtney Stodden a Robot? — Honestly, I don’t think that a computer, based solely on her un-calculated life decisions, powers Courtney’s brain. Unless, of course, it’s the same computer they use to power a Roomba, the compact vacuum apparently designed to bump into things.

8. Does Justin Bieber Smoke Weed? — Oops... How’d this one get in here? The answer is yes. Yes, he absolutely does.

9. Why is Tommy Lee Jones so Angry? — The actor’s stone face during Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig’s Golden Globe presentation has become the biggest Internet meme since #CutForBieber. Did this guy take shots of laxatives before the ceremony?

10. Why is Ryan Gosling so Perfect? — Seriously, man… Stop hogging all the swagger and leave some suaveness in the dude-tank for the rest of us guys. He’s so freakin’ awesome, in fact, no one seems to care that Gangster Squad bombed.