Snooki Wants Jessica Simpson's Job!

March 2, 2011 By:
Snooki Wants Jessica Simpson's Job!

Jersey Shore’s Snooki is featured on the cover of this month’s Rolling Stone, which, I think used to be a music magazine or something.

Snooki addresses her post-Jersey Shore plans, admitting that the fame can only last so long.

“When Jersey Shore ends I'm going to do more spinoffs," she says. "If MTV doesn't want them, another network will be, like, What does Snooki do now?' or 'Snooki's getting married!' What I'd like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand.“

What’s Snooki going to brand herself on, pickles and oversized slippers? I can’t imagine the people who would wear any kind of clothing designed by Snooki. And if you’re offended by that, you probably shouldn’t even be reading this. You should be fist pumping with one hand and pulling your Spandex shorts out of your butt with the other.

Even Snooki is tired of seeing herself party. “I look like a freakin' alcoholic. I'm like, 'You're sweating, your makeup is running, you look gross.' I just look like sh*t."

But she says aside from drinking, there’s not much the cast can do, because they aren’t allowed to have cell phones, TV, radio, or the Internet. And lord knows they can’t read, so books aren’t a viable option, either.

“There's no normalcy. It's just like prison, with cameras,” says Snooks.

Just like a prison. A prison with cameras and waaay too many conjugal visits.