Which means several seasons from now, they'll be creepily kiss each other on the red carpet.
Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole replacement, Nicole Scherzinger, have been bickering on the judges’ panel. I'm sure it’s just staged passive-aggressive awkwardness with the attempt to keep ratings high, but it's entertaining nonetheless.
20 year-old Ivana Steelman got onstage and belted out "Big Spender" in a cheesy, trying-too-hard to be sexy way. Simon called her out on it, saying, "You remind me of Nicole. I think this is exactly what I would have seen with Nicole if she'd have been 20, auditioning for this show for the first time."
Nicole got her claws out a little and said, "That's funny. I was on a show called Popstars, and I actually sang Whitney Houston, 'I Will Always Love You,' "
From there, just to prove him wrong, Nicole belted out the chorus right there at the judge's panel. It would have been really weird, but damn, Nicole Sherzinger has a voice. That Pussycat Dolls bullsh-t was not doing the woman justice.
Then, Tiah Tolliver took the stage and sang an acoustic version of Shontelle's "Impossible."
Simon liked her. "I've got a real feeling about this girl," he said. "This girl has got something in her. This girl potentially is great."
Nicole, on the other hand, disagreed. Of course.
You change keys a lot," she told Tiah. "That's why we're looking for you to have a track or something to sing with so you can stay on key."
Simon's responded to Nicole: "If you can't see this, you're deaf."
That's totally going to show up in a Google search for "Dumbest Simon Cowell quotes."
"Simon, I don't know what you're telling me, because it ain't making no sense," Nicole said. "We trying to help her out because the audition she just gave me is not convincing me ... I'm going to have to pass. I'm sorry."
Then Paula agreed with Nicole and Simon flipped out, tossed a cup on the floor and said "this is insane."
What's insane is that Simon Cowell is middle-aged, yet he's still going through his terrible twos.
At any rate, the chick performed again and Simon told Nicole, "I'm begging you."
Nicole agreed, but told the singer, "I need you to work on your vocals. I'm going to give you a chance and say yes."
I kind of miss Paula's drugged up crying.