Sheryl Crow: I Need a Glowing Vagina

July 21, 2010 By:
Sheryl Crow: I Need a Glowing Vagina

Sheryl Crow has found the secret to album sales--glowing vaginas!

Crow, who just released her seventh studio album 100 Miles from Memphis on July 20, has been monitoring stars like Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera to figure out how they sell so many albums and the secrets in the their vagina.

In an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, the singer was told that “the big thing now for female singers is glowing vaginas. Christina Aguilera performed a song on the [MTV Movie Awards], and at the end the camera zoomed in on her crotch, and it was a flashing neon heart.”

“Wow,” Crow responded. “I don’t even know what to say. How do I miss out on some of this stuff? I had no idea you could have a glowing vagina. Is it too late for me to get one of those? And would it help my record sales?

“As soon as we hang up, I’m going to check it out and see where I can get a glowing vagina. I have a record coming out, I don’t want people to think my vagina isn’t glowing.”

Gotta love her sense of humor! But don't worry Sheryl, Christina's vagina couldn't glow bright enough to help her record sales. Her record company is reportedly super disappointed in the lack of sales. So maybe you should consider dressing up like Lady Gaga instead.