“Cause ya know, I wouldna wanna embarrass myself or nuthin’” * takes a shot and projectile vomits while doing the Jersey Turnpike on Deena *
Okay, to be fair, Sammi ‘Sweetheart’ Giancola is probably the most sober person on the Jersey Shore. Not saying much, I know, but at least she’s not pooping in a bush or banging her head against a concrete wall. She’s pretty calm. Sammi is basically the Dalai Lama of the Jersey Shore.
And while Lindsay Lohan recently posed naked for Playboy, Sammi says she doesn’t think she’d do it.
“My boobs are real, they will sag to the floor,” Sammi told the Huffington Post. “I just feel weird about my boobs…But I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the right direction you want to go in.”
And while you’re busy visualizing what a ‘Jersey Shore’ Playboy spread would look like (chunking the deuce while wearing a mirkin pouf), I’m going to talk about something else.
“Ron is actually a really good guy and I like him,” Sammi said of her on again/off again gorilla juicehead boyfriend. “We have a connection that I don’t think everyone gets to see. You get to see some of the rough edges, but he’s a great guy.”
Those ‘rough edges’ include: him throwing her bed across the room while she’s on it, her repeatedly telling him she f-cking hates him, and him tossing all her belongings on a balcony.
And sorry dudes, Sammi is not looking.
“I just went through the relationship drama and I need to focus on myself for once.”