Ryan Lochte Is Hot But Not Funny; Please Don't Put Him On TV

August 9, 2012 By:
Ryan Lochte Is Hot But Not Funny; Please Don't Put Him On TV

Ryan Lochte has made Will Ferrell very happy today—the Olympian is appearing in two "Funny or Die" videos that Ferrell created for him.

The first video, titled “Peeing in Pools with Ryan Lochte,” shows the swimmer talking about how he pees in pools, how he can’t swim in a toilet, how you shouldn’t poop in a pool because then he can’t pee in them, how he’s using the Kardashian model of self-aggrandizement to mixed results, and how he’s going to be putting out a podcast and a book about pee.

And though Lochte said he thought he’d be good at acting and would like to line up some jobs after the Olympics, the stumbling monotone of his voice and his bad timing makes us beg to differ.

Ryan also appears with Patrick Stewart and Simon Pegg in a video about the Olympic Ticket Scalper, which further highlights the unfortunate fact that the boy is as bland as old gruel in front of a camera.

He should probably take a cue from Phelps, who gracefully retired and is now vacationing privately with his incredibly gorgeous girlfriend.

Hopefully even the producers of the reality shows that have been pitched to Lochte realize that no one will be able to watch him for more than five minutes, and don’t shove twelve Lochte themed series at us. But they will. You know they will.