Roseanne Barr is Running For President?

August 5, 2011 By:
Roseanne Barr is Running For President?

Roseanne Barr is running for President?

In a statement that makes Charlie Sheen look sane, Roseanne Barr says she's running for President.

How quickly can I expedite that passport?

On last night's episode of the Tonight Show, Comedian Roseanne Barr says she's running for president in next year's election.

"I am running for President of the United States. I've got to solve all the world's problems. I'm totally serious because I want to be part of the debates, I want to represent the taxpayers and in fact, I'm choosing the taxpayers as my vice-president," Barr tells Jay Leno.

However, she doesn't like any of the political parties in place, so much like Jimmy McMiIllan's the "Rent Is 2 Damn High Party," she's creating her own, "I'm not for either party because they both suck and they're both a bunch of criminals. So I made up my own party. It's the Green Tea Party." Is she aware that "Green Tea Party" sounds like a bunch of extreme leftist vegans getting together to make marijuana tea?

She actually announced her candidacy in an announcement last year, but since nobody reads her blog (as it should be) no one knew she's been serious for a while. Her "speech" started off like this, "Greetings taxpayers... as well as any members of the animal kingdom who may be listening." OK, first red flag...she talks to animals.

Also, not only does she want to run for prez, she's also running for the Prime Minister of Israel and wants to call her reign, the Rose-Anarchy. That's not even clever wordplay? She just put her name in front of the word anarchy.

Part of her platform includes ensuring that 1/6 of party officials are "officially poor," (?) Oh, and she says she's going to "outlaw bullshit," her words, not mine.

Oh Oh, my favorite, she tells Leno, "I'd be getting rid of money, there would be no money or money systems. I'm totally serious." Woo, screw debt ceilings let's all pay for everything with puka shells and sharp rocks!