Will Ferrell: Kristen Stewart Is A "Trampire" For Cheating On Robert Pattinson

August 3, 2012 By:
Will Ferrell: Kristen Stewart Is A

Will Ferrell falls to comedic bits on last night’s Conan, over “trampire” Kirsten Stewart.

Ferrell dedicates a segment to mocking the public’s obsession with the formation of, and now seeming dissolution of Robsten.

Ferrell feigns not wanting to talk about what’s visibly ailing him, but after holding out for about 2.2 seconds he launches into tirade that moves from faux tears to faux rage in attempt to mock every overly distraught Twihard in general, and then that one crazy English chick from the now infamous YouTube video mental breakdown disguised unsuccessfully as a diary.

Ferrell them commences to lose his dignity, and Conan unsuccessfully tries to console the man in the midst of a foundational shake up.

“They’re broken up, and they’re not going to get back together ever. And what they had was so special, Conan, you don’t even know.”

“You don’t even know what they had. They were in love. And she just, threw it all away.”

Then things go from general to specific back to general as Ferrell’s tension rises.

“And I don’t know if there was anything I could have done to have prevented it.”

“And I don’t know it means to the Twilight franchise – I just don’t know.”

“It’s not going to be fine, ever! Never going to be fine!”

“What they had was so special, you don’t even know! You will never know.”

Conan tries again to console him telling Ferrell that he does “know”, because he too has been in love before.

“Not like them,” is the reply, and seeming universal sentiment.

The whole overly emotional display leads up to a one-liner, a priceless plug for a catchphrase that encompasses what we’ve been all been thinking, but haven’t quite been able to bite our fangs into….

“She is a trampire!”

Well said Will. And yes, yes she is.