Movie sex is a strange thing. Two people wearing nude body suits and pasties pretending to have sex and trying to act like it’s not awkward at all. And then there are those times when it IS awkward and it still makes it into the film.
These are the 10 worst sex scenes of ALL TIME. You’re welcome.
This scene from MacGruber is just stupid. It sounds like a pig giving birth to a phone sex operator. Process that. Or watch it. Also, there are two sex scenes in this ridiculous movie and the second one involves a ghost and a graveyard.
Elizabeth Berkley flails LITERALLY FLAILS around the pool while making love to Kyle MacLachlan. It’s part exorcism and part lovemaking and the sad part is, we’re supposed to take it seriously.
While a woman makes love to him, Nicolas Cage yells out, “That’s interesting. That’s very compelling.” Done. Bye.
This is less having sex and more terrible gymnastics meets When Harry Met Sally fake orgasms.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part One
Robert Pattinson breaks the bed because he’s so consumed with desire for Kristen Stewart but he also almost kills her, so that’s not cool. It’s never good to ALMOST DIE!
Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead
Sorry but, Philip Seymour Hoffman having sex is not at the top of our “Must Watch” list.
Besides the fact that this ENTIRE MOVIE is terrible, the sex scene is borderline torturous to watch and to make matters worse, they REPLAY the same scene TWICE in a row! Yes, the entire scene is the same footage played on a loop while terrible white guy R&B music plays.
There is nothing more terrifying than being raped, let alone by a snowman. Yes, this is a real movie. Yes, it is obviously a scary movie.
Another gem from The Room. This time our scene’s star looks like he’s chewing tobacco while his lady goes down on him. Class act.
Howard the Duck
We are 100% traumatized watching this woman seduce a talking duck. Never. Again.