Rihanna's Mile High Club Includes 100 Journalists

November 16, 2012 By:
Rihanna's Mile High Club Includes 100 Journalists


The goddess of catchy radio singles and sharing too much information on Twitter has set off on her quest to entertain the masses.

Rihanna has kicked off her “777” World Tour. The title comes from the concept of “Seven concerts. Seven cities. Seven Days.”

The excursion will continent hop the 24-year-old superstar across the globe, making stops in Mexico City, Toronto, Stockholm, Paris, Berlin, London and New York.  

More importantly, the tour includes a jumbo Delta 777 jet packed with paraphernalia and news outlets who will share the experience with their readers…that is, if they remember any of it.

The Rihanna plane has been such a hit in headlines that airline companies could consider expanding the experience to the public. If so, here are some things (which may or may not be based on real Delta 777’s experiences) that should be included.

Overdoses: Yes, someone is bound to have a little too much fun. It’s just a matter of time before one reporter overdoses, which is why RihannAir comes equipped with EMTs to handle the situation.

Complementary Umbrellas: Why not, right?

Strippers. Lots of them: We all know Rihanna’s affinity for ladies with no clothes rubbing up on her. Planes under the Rihanna brand should not only have stripper poles, but also topless girls attached to them. If you did not come with wads of cash to shove in their mouths, wads of cash will be provided…

Inspiration: Rather than safety pamphlets, seatback pockets will be stocked with inspirational quotes like “a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet,” “the end of the road is just the beginning” and other word combos that make a whole lot more sense when you’re stoned out of your mind. 

Photo Booth: Sharing embarrassing photos is a must when hanging out with RiRi. Planes will be fitted with photo booths satellited directly to the Internet so that you can post image-damaging shots before sobering up enough to have better judgment. Clothing optional.

Blunts: Frankly, if you don’t have weed in your system while flying RihannAir, you are doing something wrong.