March 29, 2013 By:


$trip club$ and dollar bill$, $till got mah money!

In today’s FINAL ROUND of the Ratchet Bracket, Rita Ora and Rihanna throw up them dubs (we have no idea what that means, but heard it in a rap song) to take home the prize as THE MOST RATCHET.

Since Rita has always been considered a “Rihanna Wannabe” it’s only fair that Rihanna win the RATCHET BRACKET. Congrats Rihanna, you’ve surprised no one by winning our Ratchet Bracket and here’s why…

Ratchet Boys

Rihanna is dating Chris Brown. He beat her. He doesn’t tip valets. He got into a fight with Drake & Frank Ocean and he’s an all around douchebag. That’s your boyfriend Rihanna.

Rita’s only high-profile relationship is with Rob Kardashian. Besides Rob’s The Hundreds hat, he is a rich kid from a reality TV family. Rita lost ratchet points dating Rob.

Ratchet Friends

Rihanna’s best friend is her hometown bestie Melissa Forde. They drink road beer, wear fishnet skirts, have tattoos everywhere, and wear glasses we can only describe as “hood John Lennon.”

Rita’s best friend is model Cara Delevingne, Cara ALMOST made our ratchet bracket, because she is SUCH a mini-hood rat, but together these two are super ratchety. That being said, Cara is a supermodel…how ratchet is that, really?

Ratchet Fashion

Rihanna showing off her denim over denim look, plus socks that say “f*ck” and Timberland boots.

Rita rocking a super gangster motorcycle jacket, some hat we cannot identify, and a fishnet maxi dress. It’s not even a ratchet outfit, it’s just confusing.

Ratchet Performers

Rihanna giving it to us with that gold Chanel chain, like she’s some kind of rapper.

Rita trying to be a thug in an oversized jacket and beanie, acting like she’s hard. Tsk tsk tsk.