We first caught a glimpse of Reese Witherspoon’s tattoo over the July 4th weekend, but we weren’t sure if it was the real deal. Turns out it is. Reese got two birds looking at a star tattooed on her lower abdomen. This breaks my personal rule for tattoos: don’t get anything that flies over your crotch.
Witherspoon was in Hawaii with her new husband, Jim Toth, on Sunday, doing what celebs do best—taking paparazzi shots in her bikini. And if that woman had two kids, you sure as hell can’t tell.
Maybe Reese’s new ink looks different in person, but these pics aren’t doing it any favors. It looks like she got “Witherspoon” in Old English tatted on her belly. I’m half expecting to see a giant tattoo of the Virgin Mary on her back. Or “Love” and “Hate” on her knuckles.
Alright, so maybe Reese’s isn’t that bad. It could be worse. She could’ve gotten any one of these celebrity tats:
Kat Von D: Kat recently got a giant picture of Jesse James’ childhood photo tatted on her side. It was before they split, but Kat has no plans to remove or cover it up. The worst part is, since it’s his childhood photo, it looks nothing like him. It looks like David Spade with that creepy grin he gets after he makes a joke.
Kate Gosselin: Gosselin got a tat of Winnie the Pooh on her ankle. ‘Nuff said.
Brad Pitt: Brad was spotted with a bunch of bizarre lines drawn on his back in 2009. But before you start thinking it’s some Illuminati crap, Angelina confessed: “One night we didn’t have anything to do, so I was drawing on his back. He just liked it!”
You have six kids, how do you have nothing to do but draw on each other like a couple of kids in junior high? I haven’t had the luxury of being bored since I was probably 16, but you can bet your ass, if I were, I wouldn’t spend that time drawing on someone. Even if it was Brad Pitt.
Hayden Panettiere: Hayden broke another cardinal tattoo rule: don’t get anything in a language you cannot speak. And she paid the price. Panettiere got “Vivre senza rimipianti” tattooed on her back, but unfortunately, it’s misspelled. Rimipianti has an extra “i” and should read: rimpianti. At any rate, the Italian phrase translates to: “to live without regrets.” It could be worse. It could translate to: “never misspell anything.”