After watching this morning’s dash-cam footage from Reese Witherspoon's arrest, which makes her sound like the most belligerent southern sorority girl ever, this second video makes her look like that terrible drunk person who keeps insisting that they’re sober and can totally “drive everyone home.”
In this new video, Reese fights with her husband and utters her infamous “My name is Reese Witherspoon…it will be in the national news!”
So after Reese does her little song-and-dance about “standing on American ground,” she continues her song-and-dance about “standing on American ground” in the back of the squad car with her husband Jim Toth.
Jim: He told you to stop.
Reese: I’m an American citizen, I can say whatever I want to on free ground. He does not have jurisdiction over the ground he speaks on. I can say whatever I want to say, I can protest any way I want to.
She’s incredibly articulate for a drunk, that’s for sure. Besides not understanding the relationship between “free ground” and “being an American,” she makes a pretty convincing case.
Jim, on the other hand, is a lush!
Jim: You wouldn’t listen to what he said to do, uh and you wouldn’t stay in the car and now you’ve turned it into national news. It just turned it really bad, is all I’m saying. It, it, you know, it was my bad.
Reese: Molly Smith says get out of the car and say what you wanna say. She said, “I’ll be there in a second.”
Wait, who the heck is Molly Smith and why is she egging Reese on?
According to the Internet, Molly Smith is producing a movie Reese is about to star in. So yes, when in legal trouble, call the woman who makes movies. What?