What to Get Prince William for His Birthday

June 21, 2011 By:
What to Get Prince William for His Birthday

When someone’s house has its own Wikipedia page, it’s kind of hard to brainstorm a good gift idea.  Prince William turns twenty nine today, which leaves us wondering one thing: what do you get a man who has everything?

Belly Button Duster: Pretty self-explanatory. Cleaning your belly button is generally an easy, simple task that requires only a washcloth and some soap, right? Sure…if you’re poor! Resembling an eyeshadow brush/pipe cleaner, a belly button duster is the perfect tool for the man who has everything—including extra time on his hands.

The ‘Bowlingual’: Rich people treat their pets better than most of us treat our kids. The only problem is, dogs don’t speak English. Well, that problem is now a thing of the past. The “Bowl Lingual” is a “doggie translator” that takes a dog’s bark and tells its owner what it’s trying to say. I’m guessing it has three phrases: “Hungry”, “Wanna hump” and “Get me the f-ck out of this sweater”.

A Rolodex: Not to keep track of their contacts, but to keep track of their luxury vehicles, boats, hovercrafts, etc. Trying to get all of that in order can be daunting, and it’s easy to lose track of how many jets you have.

A Stuffed Animal: But I don’t mean a teddy bear. If there’s one thing rich people love, it’s putting dead animals on display in their homes. A good piece of taxidermy can cost upwards of $5,000, depending on the size of the animal. So if a goat, ram or deer is out of your budget, try a hamster. Or a goldfish.

Socks: When all else fails—socks to the rescue.