Pippa Middleton: I Drink Too Much

June 28, 2013 By:
Pippa Middleton: I Drink Too Much

Usually tennis and alcohol don’t mix. Unless you’re Pippa Middleton.

The new guest columnist for The Spectator reveals in her latest diary entry that she—whoops!—had “one too many” drinks at Wimbledon.

Her beverage of choice? A pint of Pimm’s, which she endorses as “absolutely delicious” and “essential drinking, in fact.” She even offers a few tips on how to sneak a little into the event.

“I try to smuggle mine under my chair and sip it when the cameras aren’t on”—was Pippa drunk when she wrote this?—and wearing a pair of oversized sunglasses help as a disguise.

“I can nod off unnoticed after one too many Pimm’s in the sun,” she said, just asking for a GIF of herself resting her eyes at Wimbledon and appearing drunk off her British a*s to be made.

Then again, she really needs to be inebriated to get through her biggest tennis pet peeve: the audible grunting.

“I don’t hate my own sex or anything,” she prefaced, admitting she prefers to watch men’s matches versus the women’s. “I just can’t stomach the women players’ shrieking. There are male grunters, it should be said…but they have a lower pitch so it’s not too off-putting. The shriekers, by contrast, howl so loudly that they make it hard for the audience to focus on the tennis.”