Funny man Ricky Gervais is at it again! He’s gotten word that Paris Hilton has temporarily moved to England to film her British version of the show Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, and he’s not happy about it!
So rather than blog or twitter about it, Ricky’s gone straight to the man who can really make a change. And that man is President Barack Obama.
Ricky has written an open letter to the President expressing his ill feelings about Paris recently moving across the pond, and even buying a house in North London near his own property. Needless to say, he wants her to return home ASAP. Ricky devises a plan between him and Obama to get Paris back to her home turf. And the funny thing is, it just might work!
An open letter to Barack Obama.
Dear Mr. President,
Firstly, congratulations on your historic win. I have never been so behind a candidate for what must be considered the boss of the world.
You seem to be a man of grace and integrity, who would never shirk responsibility in any way. I'll get to the point.
As I'm sure you are aware, one of your flock has strayed. A Miss Paris Hilton, who is, I believe, a resident of Beverley Hills, is in England doing a reality game show for ITV2 called Paris Hilton's British Best Friend.
Fine. I have no problem with that. I don't have to watch. But now it has come to my attention that she has bought a house in North London a few miles from me, and is out and about ingratiating herself with the Great British public.
Mr. President. We are not stupid. This is clearly a retaliatory strike for Posh Spice moving to LA. I know it, and you know it, so let's cut the "it's a free country" nonsense and come to some agreement. I propose an exchange.
This is how it would work. We call them both and tell them that we've found a giant "paparazzi nest", in New York say. (halfway home for both of them already)
At first they may be confused that they'd never heard of such a thing before, but the thought of that many photographers in one place will be irresistible.
Once we get them there, while they are having their photos taken (we will have hire a few guys with cameras to make it look good) we will swap their limos around. It's fool proof.
This is a covert operation of which Mr. Gordon Brown knows nothing. (I've got him working on finding a synthetic fur for The Queen's guards' bearskin hats.)
Have your people call my people. They may have to call a few times as my people are useless to be honest.