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Paris Hilton's an Idiot

Paris Hilton

Get ready to pee your pants from laughter! Really, I just read this report in the New York Post and couldn’t stop laughing. Can she get any stupider than this? According to the Post Paris Hilton told Los Angeles cops she's not that smart. Well at least she recognizes that she's stupid.

The heiress told investigators probing the home-invasion robbery of "Girls Gone Wild" producer Joe Francis that she's not a reliable witness. "Like I really . . . I don't remember. I'm not like that smart," Hilton said in police audio tapes set to air on "Dateline NBC" on Saturday night. You bet your ass we are gonna tivo that!

LAPD Detective Steve Koman and Deputy DA Hoon Chun were asking Hilton to remember what she told Francis at a party shortly after the "Girls" mastermind was victimized on Jan. 24, 2004.

Francis passed on Paris' information to cops, who eventually busted Darnell Riley.

But when investigators pressed Hilton to recall her talk with Francis, she didn't remember much, "I like forget stuff all the time," she said. Koman, however, jumped to Paris' defense and encouraged her to think again. "Don't cut yourself short," he said in the "Dateline" tapes. That is hilarious, Paris Hilton needs to be encouraged to think?

Hilton also told cops "private tapes" were stolen from her home - and that a mysterious caller wanted money for the hot goods.

"They . . . wanted money. They were tryin' to sell it to like a newspaper or something," said Hilton, who balked at paying - and went to get advice from dear old rich Dad."So if you pay somebody, then you're gonna be paying for the rest of your life," Hilton said. "My dad always taught me. They'll keep the tape anyway." That’s probably the adive she took for her independent film “One Night In Paris.

Riley pleaded guilty to residential burglary and attempted extortion in the Francis attack. He was sentenced to more than 10 years in prison In a pretrial hearing, prosecutors showed video that Riley himself took of the home invasion. Francis was tied up, had his pants pulled down and was taunted with a phallic sex toy. "Dateline" captured this footage but has no plans to air it. During the attack, Francis was forced to tell the cameraman he enjoyed gay sex. "That just is ridiculous to me," Francis told "Dateline." "That somebody's gonna think the owner of 'Girls Gone Wild' is gay? I would have said anything with a gun to my head."

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