Paris Hilton reached a new summit for white girls everywhere with the music video for her new single “Come Alive.” Within a mere four minutes, Paris manages to squeeze in a glittery, sparkly cornucopia of stuff that white girls just “die” and “can’t” for. Let us count the ways.
1. She’s frolicking in a meadow.
White girls love meadows.
2. She’s wearing angel wings.
White girls lurrrv angel wings.
3. She’s on a flower swing.
White girls love to be swinging in a bouquet of flowers.
4. She got her flower crown game on.
White girls got stacks on stacks on stacks of flower crowns.
5. She sings the lyric: “I’ll be your princess.”
White girls are the most obsessed with princesses.
6. She lifts her hands up over her head a lot.
White girls love to lift their hands up over their heads.
7. Like A LOT.
They just love it A LOT.
8. She flaunts her sparkly nail art.
White girls be getting those bejeweled manis for us all.
9. She’s got five cans of too much pageant hair mousse in her hair.
White girls love topping up their heads like it’s “Toddlers & Tiaras.”
10. She’s standing under a rainbow.
White girls love rainbows.
11. She’s petting a unicorn.
White girls love imagining they’re on a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.
Watch the whole video here if this is your kinda jam: