Orlando Bloom either has a drugged up stalker, or just a random drugged up streaker decided to disturb the peace directly in front of his house.
A man was arrested yesterday for being buck a** naked in the street outside of Orlando’s home, whom he shares with his Victoria’s Secret supermodel wife, Miranda Kerr and their son.
Mr. Full Monty was apparently lying flat in the middle of the street, and leaving nothing up to assumption. He was yelling at the top of his lungs that he was “high on drugs.”
When police arrived after an identified person called them to investigate, the man proved that he was definitely not clear of mind--with his highly unsuccessful attempt to evade police--by diving into a bush.
The police put on some rubber gloves, rocked some WWF action and successfully brought the struggling man down.
Though due to the worldwide popularity of the franchise, it’s quite possible the offender is a huge Lord of the Rings fan by default. But it’s safe to assume his asphalt-resting place was just a coincidence. And one would hope he would have had the creativity to don some angel wings if he were trying to make an impression on Kerr.
The odds are good that wherever this man chose to lay, he was at risk of becoming a celebrity offender-- Charlize Theron, Will Ferrell, Jason Statham and Laura Dern all live in the same neighborhood.
While the man’s identify and his choice of abused substance are still unknown, at least he didn’t try to take a bite out of anybody.
So I guess we can rule out bath salts.