Olivia Wilde Is Pretending She's Fat

July 28, 2011 By:
Olivia Wilde Is Pretending She's Fat

Alright, the "I don’t care that I'm hot" shtick was cool at first, but now it's just making me mad.

Olivia Wilde says she's packed on a few pounds since her divorce, admitting that she "self-medicated with food."

"I figure that's better than self-medicating with crack cocaine," Wilde explains.

Right, because those are the only two options. Ice cream or an eight ball. And if Olivia's gained any weight, I have no clue where it is, but it's working for her.

Wilde also admits that, since she was married at such a young age, "dating is new" to her.

"I see the whole thing like someone who's been in a coma and I've come out like, 'Wait, people text message? They text love? How do you text about love?'" she asks. "Three Xs and a smiley face? Emoticon? Deal breaker!"

Ok, so now Olivia's too cool to text message, too? She's going from girl crush to the pretentious chick you roll your eyes at.

Wilde has two upcoming films, Cowboys & Aliens and The Change-Up, which she filmed with Ryan Reynolds. Of her role in The Change-Up, Wilde told Jimmy Kimmel:

"I wasn't actually naked, but I appear to be naked cause they CGI'ed me naked. You wear pasties when you're on set so people don't see your nipples."

"So there's a nipple artist!" Kimmel joked. "The guys doing that sort of work must not have seen that many of them in real life." "Exactly, not since their mother!" Wilde said.

Wow, that's a real low blow to those guys! Because they're computer savvy, they've never seen a woman's breast? I think you'd have to actually be pretty familiar with nipples to get a job drawing them. You wouldn't hire a plumber who's never seen a toilet.