Behind the “Don’t Cha” anthems, Pussycat Dolls, sassy outfits, and hair flips, Nicole Scherzinger was quietly battling a bulimia addiction.
For seven years she kept it a secret from her PCD bandmates, saying it was “embarrassing” and she “hated myself.”
“I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction,” she reveals in an upcoming VH1 Behind the Music.
Nicole says this was a debilitating addiction, “I did it every day for years. Every time I had a second to be alone. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”
So why has she never come out about this addiction?
“It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart.”
This was also the same interview where Nicole revealed she did about 95% of the singing for PCD’s debut album, but added, “I hope I don’t get in trouble for the stuff that I say.”
While we loved the girls of the Pussycat Dolls with their fun and flirty anthem songs, nobody could tell Nicole was miserable.
“I just hated myself,” says Scherzinger, “I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”