Fictional Characters Who Would Dominate the Sochi Olympics

February 3, 2014 By:
Fictional Characters Who Would Dominate the Sochi Olympics

The Super Bowl is over and it’s already time to move on to the next sporting event: the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics. The competition is fierce, but we’d be remiss not to state that everyone competing is sooo lucky these people aren’t in the running.


1. Anna from Frozen

She’s fearless.


2. Harry from Dumb and Dumber

He’s obviously impervious to pain.


3. Edward Scissorhands

That hand-eye coordination is gold medal material. 


4. Jake Gyllenhaal from The Day After Tomorrow

He can weather any storm.


5. The White Witch from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Just look at her. Ice KWEEN.


6. The wood chipper from Fargo

It would cut through the competition.


7. The penguin from Happy Feet

So nimble and quick!


8. Hanna from Hanna


9. Jack in The Shining

Snow drives Johnny crazy.


10. Kathy Bates in Misery

We’ve never seen someone this devoted to anything.


11. Hanson’s Snowed In album

An album about snow that deserves to be in the hall of fame.


12. Liam Neeson in The Grey

He survived in the snowy wilderness with nothing more than his bare hands, we’re sure he could handle a few slopes.


Anyway, can you tell we don’t follow sports much around here?