As “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” came to a season close yesterday, some of us were ready to put the final nail in the coffin that is this scary backwoods redneck family with their “sketti” and their pig idolation and their bizarre 6-fingered offspring; but no! Unfortunately the men in suits that run Hollywood decided that we need another season of this nonsense and renewed “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” for another season because 2.3 million American’s turn out to watch this insanity on a weekly basis.
For those of you that missed last night’s season finale, I’ll spare you the re-cap which was mostly just mountain dew, burping, a pig named glitzy, a beauty pageant, a baby with two thumbs, more burping, sweating, and oh, a gay Uncle named Poodle.
Anyways, here were the best one-liners from last night’s episode.
“Baby Kaitlyn arrives on the biscuit express!” – Alana (Honey Boo Boo), describing childbirth
“It’s so hot out here I’m sweatin’ like a whore in church. I’m taking a bath in my own sweat.” – Mama June, confused about hygiene.
“I wish I had an extra finger, then I could grab more cheese balls!” – Alana, wishing she were a mutant.
“Ain’t nothing wrong with being a little gay! Everybody’s a little gay!” – Alana, watching a musical?
“I’m so excited I’m about to piss all over myself!” Alana, unsure how bladders work.
“Redneck ain’t the word for this damn family. They’re dysfunctional rednecks. One got bugs, one farts all the time, one’s playing in the mud and one’s digging in her butt all the time,” – Lee, giving an absolutely perfect description of Season 1.