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December 25, 2011
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It’s not easy making a Christmas movie mainstay that families will watch for generations to come.
It’s a Wonderful Life did it. A Christmas Story did it. More recently, Elf did it. But for every awesome Christmas flick, there are about ten terrible ones. And Tim Allen, god bless him, stars in about half of them.
Fandango, the online movie ticket retailer, asked its customers which Christmas movies are the worst. And without further adieu, here are the 10 worst Christmas movies of all time.
1. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: I’m not sure why this one placed first, because it has awesome written all over it. The 1964 B-movie was named Fandango's number one Worst Christmas Movie of all time. It cost $20,000 to make and told the story of some aliens who kidnap Santa and force him to bring his Christmas magic to Mars.
October 5, 2010
In Julie Taymor's version of 'The Tempest,' the gender of Prospero has been switched to Prospera.
Going back to the 16th or 17th century, women practicing the magical arts of alchemy were often convicted of witchcraft.
In Taymor's version, Prospera is usurped by her brother and sent off with her four-year daughter on a ship
The movie is scheduled to be released in theaters on December 10, 2010. In the meanwhile, you can check out the trailer after the jump!
October 28, 2009
But we wanted to know what the critics thought of the film that features real footage of Michael Jackson rehearsing for what would have been his final tour. The movie comes out worldwide today, and here’s what some of the top critics are saying about the film.
Richard Corliss, Time: “So what is This Is It? A concert film without the concert. A backstage musical that takes place almost entirely onstage. A no-warts hagiography that still gets the audience closer to the real Michael Jackson — MJ the performer, that is — than anything in the man’s avidly documented history. Wisely and decently ignoring the circumstances of his death and the circus that followed it, Ortega focuses on the re-creation of about a dozen Jackson standards for the concert.”
Owen Gleiberman, EW: “This Is It is not in any way ghoulish. It has now been established that when Jackson died, he was, physically speaking, a relatively healthy man. And so we’re spared the macabre spectacle of combing the movie for any literal signs that he was knocking at death’s door. It should also be said, though, that in This Is It, Jackson shows no telltale signs of a broken spirit, either. From the moment he takes the stage, he’s loose, robust, and in control.”
Lou Loumenick, New York Post: “Neither a concert film nor a documentary but a ghoulish “event” offered just in time for Halloween, “This is It” is sadly — and reprehensively, if you ask me — the movie equivalent to the National Enquirer’s infamous post-mortem shot of Elvis Presley.”
Elysa Gardner, USA Today: “Let’s be honest, though: That’s not what most of us expected from This Is It , which opens wide today. The Jackson who shook off his mortal coil on June 25 wasn’t the vibrant young performer who regularly electrified stadiums, and hadn’t been for many years.”
Leah Rozen, People: “Ardent fans will be happy to gaze at their idol in action; moviegoers hoping to understand more fully who Jackson was and what made him tick, besides performing, won’t find answers here.”
Andrew Pulver, Guardian: “The big fear, though, was that fulsome homages to the man and his talent would smother This Is It in a coating of treacle; thankfully, Ortega limits it to the occasional sobbing outburst from the dancers or choreographers. We are instead offered genuinely interesting tidbits of Jackson’s stagecraft, in the shape of intense discussion of cues, cherry-pickers and trapdoors – presumably to demonstrate how hands-on he was.”
The Mirror: “Michael Jackson fans will be desperate to see this musical documentary, drawn from more than 100 hours of behind-the-scenes footage as Jackson prepared for his comeback shows. No advance screenings were sent to media - though the trailer does offer tantalising raw footage of dance routines, songs and spectacle. But love him or loathe him, there is no denying Jackson was a remarkable performer and this looks like it will be a fascinating and probably moving epitaph.”
Did you see This Is It yet? Weigh in with your own review in the comments!
January 20, 2009
With a glance and a gunshot, a Biggie voiceover brings us a young Christopher Wallace (played by Wallace's real-life son, Christopher Wallace, Jr), a bespectacled, overweight kid idolizing hip hop stars in a magazine.
More Smalls than Biggie, Christopher is kept on a short leash (or stoop) by his mother, Voletta (Angela Bassett).The seduction of creamy white sneakers, gold chains and easy money pulls Christopher into drugs and before long, he's thrown out by his mom and into the waiting arms of the law.
Prison offers him a bit of time to reflect and refine his rhyming skills. Upon his release, he dazzles his homies with his skills as well as an up and coming music impresario, Sean "Puffy" Combs (Derek Luke).
When hip-hop doesn't pay the bills, Biggie (newcomer Jamal Woolard) goes back to dealing crack and only a friend's sacrifice stops his legend from dying on the vine.
Reunited with Puffy, his career takes off, complete with all the trappings of fame. The free-flowing raps are matched only by the free flowing of weed, booze and women all come easy, but all have a price: the stunting of his maturity into manhood, evidenced by his relationships with women.
His high school sweetheart and mother of his first child, Jan (Julia Pace Mitchell), becomes an afterthought when he meets his lover turned protégé Kimberly "Lil' Kim" Jones (Naturi Naughton) and finally his wife R&B songstress Faith Evans (magnificently played by Antonique Smith). Although all three have a place in his heart, none seem to be enough to satisfy his thirst to live life inside of the raw lyrics that he spits.
Lines between storytelling and documentary are clearly drawn in "Notorious." Tillman examines the genesis behind Smalls' turbulent relationship with rapper Tupac Shakur. Like any Shakespeare parable, Tupac's life and death will be forever intertwined with Smalls. In a brief, but brilliant performance, Tupac (Anthony Mackie) is seen as part visionary, part paranoid eccentric whose death played a direct or indirect role in Biggie's.
This East vs. West coast rap war is seen borne more from an overzealous media than actual fact. Also, the circumstances around his death featuring dirty cops, incompetent reporting and a possible conspiracy are virtually ignored in order to focus more on the man than the scandal.
Notorious stops short of glorifying the life of the man as well as the lifestyle and shows the dirt beneath the tailored suits and gold chains. From the way he treated his women to his crack dealing past, care was taken to show the warts of the rap icon. However, the movie was executively produced by Voletta Wallace, Combs and Biggie's managers so you walk away wondering what was left off the plate.
The cinematography is as captivating as the soundtrack is riveting. Although, the ending teases of the man that could've been, the performances are top notch enough to appreciate what was left behind.
Billy Tatum gives "Notorious" four (out of five) Scoops.
December 17, 2008
Image by wenn.com
During the Cold War, the 1951 Robert Wise classic featured an alien named Klaatu (Michael Rennie) with a warning for the Earth: stop your warring ways or your planet will be 'burned to a crisp." It's too bad he didn't throw in "and don’t make bad movies."
Keanu Reeves is the new Klaatu, but he's not here to warn us. He's here to save the Earth by eliminating its biggest problem: humanity. It's up to a cute and trusting scientist Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly) to show him (vexatious at times) that "We can change."
Our capacity to change is seen in how everyone from the military to Helen's stepson Jacob (Jaden Smith..son of Will) wants Klaatu dead. This could've been a good Earth Day cautionary tale, but can't decide if it's an environmental thriller, sci-fi film or a way to put McDonald's into a scene. Connelly tries to convince Klaatu to call off the omnipotent GORT, the scariest robot ever (until it turns into matter eating bugs). Even John Cleese is forced to implore that humans always change just at the brink of destruction. Now, that's something to brag about.
Director Scott Derrickson ('The Exorcism of Emily Rose') has all the nice toys of a great sci fi film: pretty people, special effects and a budget. I mean, the only thing lacking was a script that wouldn't put you to sleep. Writer David Scarpa delivers a script that produces the energy of a Nyquil smoothie. Scarpa should've stopped here before sending this one in. The story not only lacks any interspecies love connection between Connelly and Reeves, but Jaden's character even made me hate humanity. As characters whine "We can change," you just wished they had started with this movie.
Billy Tatum gives "The Day the Earth Stood Still" 2 (out of 5) Scoops
The Day the Earth Stood Still: MPAA Rated PG-13 for some violence and some disaster images. Running Time: 105 minutes. Playing Nationwide.
October 28, 2008
Image by wenn.com
Ed Harris wears many hats in this film: writer, director, producer and star, not to mention a cool cowboy hat. However, instead of looking for a hat rack, he pays tributes to the likes of John Ford, Sam Peckinpah and even John Wayne.
It's 1882 and in the frontier town of Appaloosa, but there's way more dust than tumbleweeds. Enter guns for hire Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen). They were brought in to stop the urban terrorism of mega ranch-owner and local gang leader Randall Bragg (Jeremy Irons). In exchange for their help, the town leaders reluctantly allow them to impose martial law.
Cole and Hitch share a bond almost bordering on a marriage, but this ain't no brokeback. More like a fraternal bond, with each taking turns being the big brother. When Virgil stumbles on remembering a word, Everett is there to give it to him with the help of his West Point education. Everett may not be the alpha male, but he's definitely the more cerebral.
Just when you think things are black and white though, a red-haired shade of gray arrives in the form of Allie French (Renée Zellweger). French catches the eye of Virgil, with her sweet smile and polite sophistication, but we come to realize she's the archetype of a Jerry Springer guest. Clingy and manipulative, she throws an interesting wrench into Virgil and Everett's friendship. You almost expect Dr. Phil to show up.
Harris may have been the driver of this vehicle, but it's Mortenson who is the one man pit crew, serving as the bow (or 8 gauge shotgun) that ties everything together, whether it's helping keep Harris' Virgil in check during a violent outrage or doing the noble thing in the end to help his friend. Kudos in casting for taking Zellweger over a cuter, but less qualified actress. She's more than a damsel in distress. She's a damsel who is distress and shows why she deserves equal billing.
As with all Westerns, actions speak louder than words or CGI. With dry, witty dialogue lifted from writer Robert B. Parker of "Spencer for Hire" fame, we're reminded how there was a time when men hugged with words instead of arms.
Billy Tatum gives "Appaloosa" 4 (out of 5) Scoops.
"Appaloosa." MPAA rating: R for some violence and language. Running time: 1 hour, 48 minutes. In general release.
October 23, 2008
Michael Cera plays Nick, an angst guitarist in a queercore band. He's so not over his recent dumping by the ultra-cute, but skanky Tris (Alexis Dziena) that he's already sending her a 12th mix tape...with the possible threat of more. She's so touched by the gesture that she can't wait to throw them in the trash.
Norah (Kat Dennings) not only retrieves them, but also believes she's found her musical soulmate with the mystery man. While Norah and Tris get along as well as tin foil in a microwave, fate brings them together at Nick's performance, where Norah asks Nick to pretend to be her boyfriend. One "meaningless" kiss later and they're bound on a quest of love lost and found as well as for the elusive band Where's Fluffy.
Six years removed from "Raising Victor Vargas," Director Peter Sollett takes us on a romantic search and rescue through New York's lower East Side. Foregoing typical teen raunchy for witty dialogue and an exceptional alt-rock soundtrack, Sollett invokes a sweet romantic vibe that hasn't been seen since Sixteen Candles. Tom Richmond's soft-focus cinematography makes the audience look forward to the next stop on their late night trip from the suburbs to Manhattan.
Cera and Dennings have an awkward tenderness that makes you cheer for them from the start. How many times can Cera play the role of Juno's baby daddy remains unknown, but he does it well enough to stave off being typecast...for now. Dennings has grown up a lot since "40 Year Old Virgin" and seems to have grasped that even as a star, less is often more. Ari Graynor as Caroline, Norah's drunken best friend, steals enough scenes to merit her own show on the CW. You'll never think of gum the same after seeing her performance.
The movie takes more than one trip to the Juno ATM from the opening credits to Cera's Nick. Chalk that up to scribe Lorene Scafaria being a BFF and writing partner of Diablo Cody. Nevertheless, while it may wear some of Juno's socks, it stands alone in it's greatness like any first kiss or shared playlist.
Billy Tatum gives "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist" 5 (out of 5) Scoops.
"Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist." MPAA rating: PG-13 for mature thematic material including sexuality, teen drinking, language and crude behavior. Running time: 1 hour, 29 minutes. In general release.
October 15, 2008
Image by wenn.com
Samuel L. Jackson is Officer Abel Turner, the widowed father of two kids (Regine Nehy, Jaishon Fisher). Abel keeps the kids on such a short leash, it's no wonder they don't use it to strangle him. He's mildly interested when moving fans pull up next door, but mildly enraged when he sees the new neighbors are interracial couple Chris (Patrick Wilson) and Lisa (Kerry Washington). Seeing them together makes him angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry.
As if his innate bigotry isn't enough, he uses the fact that he caught his kids watching them make out in the pool as justification to make their lives hell. He begins by shining searchlights in their home bright enough to signal Batman to trying to break up their marriage by sending Lisa video of Chris with a stripper. When that doesn't work, he goes from bad cop to very bad cop.
Director Neil LaBute known for such low-budget art house fare as "In the Company of Men" and the hideous, but well-acclaimed "The Shape of Things" takes on a script that's been made more to stoke the fires of box office coin than water cooler dialogue incited by racially charged films such as "Crash." While the story has enough irony and uncomfortable moments to carry parts of the film such as Chris and Lisa's housewarming party, complete with Abel emasculating all in earshot, it never quite finds it's way.
Samuel L. Jackson's performance proves you can make lemons out of lemonade. He allows Abel to show his range as a person whether it's the tough as nails cop that even his peers fear or breaking the rules to encouraging someone to be a better father...albeit involving a shotgun. Wilson and Washington, while nice to look at, are given roles where you actually root for them to break up...or get shot. When the couple's tires are slashed and Washington cries out "Is it the Prius," you want to give Abel more bullets. LaBute tries to cover all bases by giving us over-the-top elements such as a literal and metaphorical wildfire threatening the cul-de-sac as well as revealing the source of Abel's rage, but you wish more time had been given to making Wilson and Washington more than just 90's yuppie stereotypes.
Based on a true story, "Lakeview Terrace" was actually filmed in the city of Walnut. I wonder why that was. Maybe the real LVT was busy that day or maybe it knew it would be embarrassed about this movie.
Billy Tatum gives "Lakeview Terrace" 2 (out of 5) Scoops.
"Lakeview Terrace." MPAA rating: PG-13 for intense thematic material, violence, sexuality, language and some drug references. Running time: 1 hour, 46 minutes. In general release.
September 29, 2008
Image by wenn.com
DeNiro and Pacino play, respectively, Turk and Rooster, two old school NYPD cops who have managed to keep their sanity and sense of humor despite decades on the job. An investigation into a vigilante killer brings back an incident where Turk planted evidence on a perp who walked on a technicality. It's not long before two young guys are assigned to the case (John Leguizamo and Donnie Wahlberg) to investigate if Turk is behind the killings.
Ten years ago, this would've been an awesome premise and an even better movie, but we're on what seems to be our 2000th season of Law & Order and a new season of Dexter. Sad to say it's all been done before, but that doesn't mean it's not done well.
DeNiro and Pacino play off each other with a chemistry that Hollywood wishes it could bottle or at least clone. Pacino plays down his "Hoo-haw" persona that we've seen in the pass that makes us ask if he wants any eggs with that ham. When Pacino jokingly ties the murders to the Brady Bunch, you're reminded just how good this guy is. With bags under his eyes big enough to carry God's groceries, he still manages a stare that burns through you like lava. DeNiro's tough guy demeanor shows why some guys are TV stars, but very few are movie stars.
Time was clearly spent more on Method acting than method makeup, because you can see every wart and every wrinkle on both actors’ faces. It takes a lot of courage on all parts to embrace your age, especially when it's crucial to the story. Even in the twilight of their careers, Pacino and DeNiro prove that CGI and Botox are no substitute for talent.
Carla Gugino embodies 30-something hotness as Turk's kinky girlfriend, Karen. She's more than just a pretty face and shows you when Rooster describes a police beating. Wahlberg doesn't have much to say or do besides rein in Leguizamo's hotheaded Simon Perez. Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson shows his moniker comes from the value of his acting skills. Leave it to the professionals, Fiddy.
Pacino and DeNiro definitely deserve better than this, but hearing them riff on each other (especially after rarely being on screen together during 1995's "Heat") with a humor and grit that's rarely seen is definitely worth the price of admission. You wish they were in more movies together like the AARP version of the Apatow films. "Righteous Kill" is a case where you can't always get what you want, but you can enjoy it nevertheless.
Billy Tatum gives "Righteous Kill" 3 and a half (out of 5) scoops.
"Righteous Kill." MPAA rating: R for violence, pervasive vulgarisms and brief drug use. Running time: 1 hour, 41 minutes. In general release.
September 11, 2008
Image by wenn.com
Faris plays Shelley Darlington, a ditzy playmate-to-be thrown out of the mansion right after her 27th birthday for being too old, which we're told is "59 in Bunny years." Poor Shelley is then thrust into a world where a girl can't even service a cop to get out of a ticket. This is definitely science fiction.
She stumbles onto a row of sorority houses and thinks they're like mini Playboy mansions. Shelley comes upon Zeta Alpha Zeta, a house of geeks that's about to lose it's charter for lack of pledges. The Zetas need more help than an unemployed Katrina victim and Shelley is all too eager to assist. Armed with only short shorts, a water bra and such sagely mottos as "The eyes are the nipples of the soul" and "kindness is just love with its work boots on," she sets out to help the social misfits find their inner playmate. However, that's no small task.
The Zetas include Carrie-Mae, an amazon with a voice as deep as existentialism who's stayed in school for nine years to avoid having to go back to her trailer park, Joanne (Rumer Willis), is in a back brace with more metal than Iron Man, a very pierced goth girl (Kat Dennings), an extremely pregnant Harmony (Katherine McPhee) and a mute who communicates via text.
Hooker heels and short shorts aside, the message of female empowerment should be of no surprise given that it's written by scribes Karen McCullah Lutz & Kirsten Smith who gave us "Legally Blonde." Lutz and Smith not only follow the formula of the hot chick making over the geeks, but the Zetas in turn teach Shelley how to attract a man (played smoothly by Colin Hanks) when the sexy tricks fail. Shelley seems almost bewildered when she asks the Zetas "So I have to learn things about things -- and stuff? About -- topics?"
Faris channels her inner Goldie Hawn and makes us cheer for Shelley's makeover as much as the Zetas ultimate makeunder. With an almost down home sweetness and humor not seen since "Forrest Gump," "The House Bunny" will remind you that it's not the cup size, but the size of the heart behind it that matters.
Billy Tatum gives "The House Bunny" 4 and a half (out of 5) stars
"The House Bunny." MPAA rating: PG-13 for sex-related humor, partial nudity and brief strong language. Running time: 1 hour, 38 minutes.
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