Michael Lohan
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December 22, 2011

Michael told Dr. Drew Pinsky: "It’s a move in a direction where she’s working. If she’s happy with it, I’m happy with it.”
October 31, 2011

Lohan has an illegitimate child living in Montana that he isn’t paying child support to.
This time last year a woman from Montana won an uncontested judgment for child support from Lohan and was issued in Suffolk County, NY. Lohan claims he made the child support payment on time but was a day late paying the second installment of support. It’s a year later and the warrant is still outstanding.
What’s worse? The fact that Lohan will be arrested on sight if he shows up in NYC or the fact that there are more Lohan spawn out there that we don’t know about?
October 27, 2011

Michael Lohan was released from a Florida jail on Wednesday, following a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, Kate Major. Michael insisted, "I did not lay a hand on her."
"I did not hurt her," Lohan said after his release. "If anything, I helped her. She was in a bad situation in Sarasota."
He then describes the fight he got into with Major before he was arrested:
"She called me, she came down to Ft. Lauderdale…I got her apartment here. One of the people from Sarasota gave her a hard time, I said I'm leaving. And this is the way she makes money. She has me arrested…and she sells the stories, and that's it."
October 25, 2011

Image by wenn.com
Apparently Michael Lohan was at the home of his ex-girlfriends house, Kate Major, who claims Michael started to beat her last night when she wouldn’t give him a bl-w job.
Apparently Michael was at her home yelling at her about an upcoming domestic violence court appearance, because this isn’t the first time he’s threatened her. In March, Lohan was arrested in Los Angeles for holding Major against her will, prohibiting her from calling 911, and attempting to choke her.
So they were arguing about that and somehow in the midst of all that he managed to also demand her to perform oral sex, to which she denied.

Image by Splash News
“[Lindsay’s] not going to be working at the morgue, she’ll be in the morgue.”
He continues: “If that happens, there’s one person I blame. Well, two people. The doctor who wrote the prescription and Dina for the way she conducted herself through our divorce.”
Michael also reveals that Lindsay Lohan has an addiction to prescription drugs.
October 20, 2011

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Lindsay Lohan's drug use has always been kind of a no-brainer. Finish the sentence: Lindsay Lohan makes me think of ______?
Now her dad is throwing her under the bus too. After photos of her stained and decayed teeth surfaced online, Lindsay's dad Michael Lohan says she thinks she's smoking methamphetamines or crack cocaine.
"That’s from smoking a pipe with meth or crack. She’s smoking either crack or meth, one or the other. I’m not going to shade it," Michael tells HLN show, "Issues."
September 6, 2011

Image by wenn.com
These are the stars who only became famous because they associated with someone more famous than themselves.
Elisabetta Canalis: Oh Elisabetta Canalis, don't even get me started. Wikipedia claims she is an "Italian Actress" but let's be real, she's George Clooney's ex-girlfriend. Because George Clooney is essentially a lifelong bachelor, all of his girlfriends become full-fledged celebs simply by association because they seem so rare and special. Elisabetta dated George from June 2009 to June 2011 and now that they've broken up, she has graced more magazine covers that he does and is now appearing on "Dancing With The Stars" which really should be named "Dancing With The Stars Exes."
June 23, 2011

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After Lindsay Lohan was tested positive for alcohol, she was ordered back to court Thursday morning for violating her probation. Now, her father is saying she needs rehab, not jail. Right, because rehab has proven to be so effective for her in the past.
"If it's true, whatever she's doing isn't right," Michael told Popeater. "There's a chubby English girl named Nikki who is always around her and when she Is, I get a sick feeling and there is always a problem....
June 7, 2011

This time he’s going to be on the fifth season of Celebrity Rehab. First off, for Michael Lohan to be included as a “celebrity” on that show we should redefine what it means to be a celebrity. If a celebrity is anyone who ever procreated and that spawn eventually became famous for being a pseudo lesbian and a sometimes coke addict, then sure, Michael Lohan is a celebrity.
So, Michael Lohan has a drug and alcohol problem all his own and will seek help from Dr. Drew Pinsky on VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab.”

After Lohan allegedly made a comment about wanting to fight Frank Sorrentino, father of Mike ‘The Situation’, the Jersey Shore father took to YouTube to vent his frustrations:
“I heard Michael Lohan passed a comment on me, or about me regarding my boy and that he wants to fight me. Hey Mike, let me send you a f-ckin’ message so you get this f-ckin’ loud
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