Get a grip on your estrogen before reading because...
1. Michael Fassbender is one sexy dude.
2. Drawing you in with his killer stare.
3. Yes, killer.
4. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…
5. WHEN HE CRUSHES ALL OF YOUR OVARIES.
6. We’re talking every single egg in your basket.
7. And oh boy does he know it.
8. With a single look, he takes one of your eggs…
9. Cracks it…
10. Throws it on a frying pan.
12. Say sayonara to all your ovaries because they’re officially TOAST.
13. Disclaimer: No ovary within a 25-mile radius is safe.
14. When he does this little neck jig, your ovaries immediately start to twerk.
15. Your ovaries are reaching out their little ovary-shaped hands for this face that’s just out of reach.
16. For this beautiful beard.
17. For this beautiful chin.
18. For this beautiful everything.
19. It’s just basic math: one stare = 23,000 ovaries eviscerated.
20. Make that 23,001 ovaries.
21. According to the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Michael Fassbender gives ovaries a case of the “OH DEAR LORD”-s instantly.
22. With the most common side effect being what’s happening in this photo.
23. Slow burn, ladies.
24. And the only cure is more Michael Fassbender.
25. Which is the best cure ever.
26. Don’t you think?
27. So, pull up a chair, lean back…
28. And kiss your ovaries, goodbye.