It's Official: Mariah Carey is a Good Mom

May 27, 2011 By:
It's Official: Mariah Carey is a Good Mom

Because the Department of Children and Family Services gets their tips from the tabloids, they went to Mariah Carey’s house to investigate an allegation that she downed a beer after giving birth.

Maybe this is my lack of experience in the area of motherhood, but if you can down a Guinness after giving birth, you’re a superhero in my eyes and no one should give you a hard time about anything ever.

After receiving an anonymous phone call complaining about Mariah drinking the Guinness, the social workers interviewed Mariah and spent time with her twins, concluding that the children were safe and healthy.

I don’t know if maybe the Los Angeles DCFS doesn’t have cable or something, but there are plenty of other cases they should be putting their efforts into.

Apparently, a hospital staffer told Mariah that dark beer helps with lactating. Mariah reportedly told social workers she followed the staffer’s orders and didn’t hide the fact that she’d downed the beer.

There are conflicting reports, however, that Mariah never drank it in the first place.

I’m told that having another human being ripped from your loins hurts a little bit. I personally feel that new moms should be given a government-funded Jagerbomb after childbirth. Again, zero experience here.