Three years ago Madonna was in her hotel room changing for a photo shoot for W magazine in Brazil, when someone snapped these very unflattering topless photos of her. They've now been leaked to the internet. If you were expecting some kind of Blake Lively/Scarlet Johansson esque nude photos, you've come to the wrong place.
This is actually a warning, DON’T try to find these photos. It's not cute, her body is actually stressing me out. Madonna's arms looks like one of those hairless Chihuahuas, if you gave that Chihuahua daily steroid injections and forced it to go on world tours.
The photos were from 2008 when Madonna was 50 years old. She is lounging on a couch wearing nothing but a nude bra, black thong and a blonde wig. If you've ever wondered what a drag queen looks like on his day off, this is it.
Several of the photos feature her in bra and underwear but completely sprawled out on the couch, very un-ladylike. Another photo shows her standing in front of a mirror, no bra, and struggling to pull on a dress in front of the mirror.
It's unsure who took these photos, but it might have been her then boyfriend, 22-year-old Jesus Luz. The actual photoshoot for W magazine was called "Blame It On Rio" and came out 3 months later in March of 2009. It features a 46-page spread of a more flattering and photoshopped Madonna. Her child plaything, Jesus, also appears in the photoshoot; he is naked except for a strategically placed hand towel in most of the photos. In other photos they are seen canoodling on a bed. He is still naked.
This is actually the photoshoot where Madonna met Jesus Luz. He was just a hired model for this spread, but the fake relationship they played on camera, turned into a real life one off-screen that lasted a year. How does a 22-year-old BOY see Madonna's 50-year-old ass and be into that? Ugggh...I'm still trying to erase the images of her topless photos. Why did I google it? WHY!?
However, this is great publicity for Madonna's just announced stint as a performer for the NFL Super Bowl in February. Madonna will take the stage at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana on February 5.
In other Madonna news, she's just directed the film W.E. which is to be releasing soon, she loathes hydrangeas, and she's been dating another fetus, 24-year-old Brahim Zaibat for almost a year now.
What do they even have to talk about?
Brahim: Hey can we get breakfast burritos or rent "Inception" today?
Madonna: No! I have to take Lourdes to get her eyebrow separated. When I get home you can watch me lift this dumbbell.
Bahim: Fine, MOM! I mean, Madonna.