He won’t change. I just think there comes a point where you just kind of have to accept what it is. Whenever I do try to bring him back into my life, he creates chaos for me and uses it to his advantage. He’s been really good and then really crazy my whole life.
Lindsay Lohan Quotes
I’ve never been a junkie, and never will be. I just like going out late to clubs with friends and listening to music. Always have done. It’s not that unusual for girls of 26.
Everyone thinks I’ve done it so many times. But I’ve only done it maybe four or five times in my life and I don’t like it. It reminds me of my dad. I took it four times in a period from about the age of 20 to 23, and I got caught twice.
Pot, obviously. And ecstasy. I liked that better than the others I didn’t drink on it, so I was just chilling. It’s something that a lot of people experience when they’re in college.
I've been court-ordered to do it six times. I could write the book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab, it was like a joke, like killing time.
I like being in a relationship with a guy. But there’s something just different about it with a woman. When I was with Samantha (Ronson), I didn’t want to leave, because I didn’t want to be alone. It was very toxic. And her family controlled anything she did.
You can never actually be a clone of the person, so you have to bring some of yourself into it. And I was lucky enough because I do relate to Elizabeth Taylor in a lot of ways.
People can think what they want, and the only thing I can do is prove them wrong.
I have no idea why there is this fascination with everything I do. I suppose it’s all part of this trend of people wanting to know every detail of a celebrity’s life. I mean, once we get to the point where magazines are doing pictorials on the clothes I wore in court – that’s just so unimportant.
Sex and sexuality are a part of nature, and I go along with nature. I think Marilyn Monroe said that, and I agree with her. Knowing your body and being in touch with your body is important because it gives you confidence, and in life, women need confidence. It’s a very male-dominated world, so knowing yourself and being comfortable with your body is an important thing for me as a woman.
There are always going to be bumps that we have in the road, but as long as I’m focusing on the one thing that I know that I need to put first in my life—which is my recovery and stuff. I’m doing good, and that’s what’s most important to me.
I need to prove that I can be insurable again. Because I don’t think I am right now.
I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have—never in my life. I have no desire to. That’s not who I am. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done—to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, O.K., ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.
I don’t care what anyone says. I know that I’m a damn good actress. … And I know that in my past I was young and irresponsible—but that’s what growing up is. You learn from your mistakes.
If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I’m taking and my father says I’m taking—so that says something, because I was fine . . . I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life.
I work just as hard as any other actress around my age, like Scarlett Johansson, but I just don't get the opportunities that they get because people are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life. But that doesn't mean it's going to last forever.
The worst part is, in terms of what people see of me, I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn't know how to focus, doesn't know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party. And you know what? I was 20 years old. I never went to college. And I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. But at this point it's so hard for people to even believe that there was a lesson to be learned at all, because they just think I'm wrong. All these people think I'm never going to be right, because it's more interesting to fabricate this other girl. Who wants to read a tabloid story about a girl who is doing well?
I just feel as though it's become a situation where people have manifested this caricature of who I am, and they act as if there's no real person inside of it. I mean, people really have come to believe-directors, producers, agents, whoever it may be-that I started in this because I wanted to be a celebrity. But that was never my intention.
You know what's hard? I want to give back. I want to do all the things that will make me feel fulfilled. But whenever I do those things, people think it's a press stunt or something. Because they do find me, and there's really no way of hiding from that. And the second that you complain about it, they say, "Well, this is what you wanted, so this is what you're going to get." That's all people see it as now. It's not, "No, I just want to have some time for myself." There are things I want to do, and people don't understand that. You know, my car accident that I got into, where I got my first charge, I wouldn't have been speeding up like I was if I didn't have people shoving cameras in my windows.
I don't want to classify myself. First of all, you never know what's going to happen — tomorrow, in a month, a year from now, five years from now. I appreciate people, and it doesn't matter who they are, and I feel blessed to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself that I can say that.
I would love to say it's surprising, but it's not. It doesn't bother me as much as embarrass and hurt me. And put a knife in my back. And it's hard because I was flipping through channels and someone on E! called him a loser. And that's my fucking father! He's not a bad guy. He's just making bad choices.
I did it to myself, and I have to deal with the consequences. I'm thankful for what I can take out of it. Now I feel clear. That's my past, and I'm a different person now. I have goals and I'm working to achieve them. I'm not hanging out with people who are out every night getting fucked up. And I think that I'm happy.
I just want to apologize to any of my fans that look up to me, especially my younger fans, for setting the examples that I didn’t mean to set. That is one of the reasons that I want to change things . . . I don’t want to be known as that person. I want to do what’s right for my family as well as what is right for me.
I think the trouble in my family resulted in me rebelling and doing things to try to get my parents’ attention. But all in all, it’s better for me now to have them [in my life]. It’s healthy.
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