While we're all arguing about whether Lindsay Lohan's second best role was Cady on Mean Girls or Anna in Freaky Friday, everyone can surely agree she's at her award-winning best when she's playing Lindsay Lohan in the real life movie titled Lindsay directed by no sane person. So many twists and turns, and we're not just talking about that recurring scene of her driving a car on PCH.
Now if you're scrolling through Lindsay's IMDb page because you want to remind yourself that your life is in fact on an okay track, here's a role you won't see listed: Escort #4.
According to the tabloid Star, dad Michael is accusing mom Dina for "pimping [Lindsay] out," saying the actress is getting paid to go on dates with rich men.
However, it's a role that might as well be included right there alongside Casey Stuart in Life-Size, because it turns out this one is pure fiction.
Here's what Michael told us at Hollyscoop: "I was just told about the ridiculous article by that rag magazine "Star"! By absolutely no means did I ever make such a statement…ever! Sure, Lindsay and many others make personal appearances and get paid for it! Sure, she and they get paid to go to birthday parties and other occasions! But for sex? Are you kidding me?! I would never say that because she would never do that and it never happened! Trust me, this crosses the line and when I find out who wrote this pack of lies, I will deal with it myself!"
Even if she was an escort, one place she won't be taking dates any time soon is the W hotel in New York City. Apparently they're "still cleaning up" the storm that was Lindsay's stay last year, accruing damages upwards of $50,000 in the haphazard form of cigarette burns across the room's carpets.
No word on whether she was trying to spell out the word "H-E-L-P" in Parliaments or self-spray tanner, but an insider at the hotel is saying that she's been blacklisted as a guest, and won't be welcomed back anytime soon.
One space that won't allow this kind of behavior in its presence is the Los Angeles court room. She's scheduled to appear for her trial on January 30th.
However, there's also the mess you'd expect to be following the firing of her longtime attorney Shawn Holley. Her lawyers promise everything regarding her representation will be in order by that time.
The latest set back for Lindsay's supposed comeback was her highly-publicized-for-all-the-wrong-reasons film, The Canyons which apparently has been rejected by the Sundance Film Festival. This especially has to sting considering the film is about 20-somethings in L.A. whose lives are a total wreck meaning Lindsay hardly had to act in it. Turns out, to Hollywood's independent film elite, Lindsay playing Lindsay still isn't good enough.