Judge Stephanie Sautner has pulled Lindsay Lohan from her community service assignment with the Red Cross. But before you get your panties in a wad about how Lindsay's celebrity keeps her from serving any time whatsoever, take solace in the fact that she's been immediately assigned to morgue duty.
I think I just heard a crowd of cheers.
Lohan's probation officials pulled her out of the Downtown Women's Center, where she was supposed to perform 360 hours of community service. Lohan failed to show up nine different times and left early when she did show up. Apparently, Judge Sautner is really annoyed with this, so she ordered Lohan to complete her mandatory 120 hours at the L.A. County Morgue. Starting immediately.
Oh, and get this. According to TMZ, in Lindsay's Probation report, her officer wrote that Lindsay had problems with the Women's Center. Namely that it was "not fulfilling." Because, you know, homeless and battered women exist to fulfill Lindsay Lohan's soul.
Then last night, Lohan was spotted going to a shoplifter's course, which is weird, because it's been previously reported that she completed this. Yes, I am keeping track. This is what my life has come to. Who knows why she revisited the course, maybe she didn't get it the first time and had to go back for a refresher. Okay, so let me get this straight. When I want something I have to do this thing called 'buy-ing'? Weird!
In other Lohan news, remember those terrible photos of her teeth that surfaced last week? I know, I'm still trying to get the image out of my mind, too. Anyway, that was last Wednesday. Over the weekend, she was photographed shopping, and her teeth were back to their normal big, white, non-rotting state. So what the hell?
Well according to Dr. Pankaj Singh of Arch Dental Associates in NYC, Lindsay has had "emergency dental intervention."
"Either she had some bondings or veneers done to cover up the stained and decayed teeth," the dentist said.
I'm not a publicist. But I'd say getting "emergency dental intervention" should be done before your walk down the red carpet, not when you're picking up two buck chuck at Trader Joe's.
Sure, it was for the launch of a video game or something, but it's probably the only red carpet-ish event Lindsay will be partaking in for a while. Probably should've made sure the decaying
meth mouth wasn't on full display.
Singh also said Lohan's dental damage “appears to be from a combination of smoking, drug use and a lack of personal care.”