Because she’s pretty much run out of dignified legal strategies, Lindsay Lohan plans to straight up beg at her probation violation hearing.
While her lawyer, Shawn Holley, originally tried to contend that Lohan got kicked out of community service, it was pretty obvious at the last hearing that Judge Stephanie Sautner wasn’t buying it. So the plan now is to totally concede that argument and just beg for mercy.
According to TMZ, Lindsay’s latest strategy will be to try and prove that she is now serious about carrying out her community service.
It’s about damn time. Lindsay will show that she put in 24 hours at the morgue, which is more than the 16 hours she was required to do before Wednesday’s hearing. Hey, does anyone have any cookies? Because I think Lindsay Lohan wants one.
After revealing that she’s put in a whole 24 hours of work, Lindsay and her lawyer then expect the courtroom to give her a round of applause and take turns patting her on the head. From there, it is expected that Judge Sautner will open Lindsay’s criminal file and fill it with little stickers of a kitty cat saying, “MeWow! You’re purrrfect!”
Lindsay’s plan is a big risk, because at the time of sentencing, Judge Sautner said that if Lindsay was found to have violated probation, she would go to jail.
So, if they’re going with this strategy, jail time looks imminent. And, according to TMZ, Lindsay is hoping for the minimum sentence, which is two weeks. If convicted of two weeks, Lohan would probably do much less time because of jail overcrowding. So yeah, she might be going to jail for at least a little while.
But hey, her teeth are white again! After exposing the world to the bizarre condition of her teeth a couple of weeks ago, when her own father basically said it was meth mouth, Lohan decided to get some work done. The day she showed up late to the morgue, she decided to go have her teeth whitened. Life is depressing when your to-do list looks like this:
1. Go to morgue
2. Get teeth fixed
3. Buy cupcakes, return to morgue
On Saturday, Lindsay tweeted a photo of her new, pearly whites and wrote: “Thanks Dr. Dofrman for the zoom…my gums are so sore though!”
She must’ve gotten some veneers or something, too. Because aside from being white, her teeth also looked…like actual teeth.
Lohan was referencing Dr. Bill Dorfman, whose celebrity clients include Eva Longoria, Anne Hathaway and Jessica Simpson.