Lindsay Lo-Down: Tales of a Deranged Brazilian Refugee

March 22, 2013 By:
Lindsay Lo-Down: Tales of a Deranged Brazilian Refugee

There's a lot happening with our favorite Lifetime movie star Lindsay Lohan this week. Let’s catch up!

Fleein’ the country. Lindsay plans to pack a lot in during the days leading up to getting locked away in rehab on May 2. According to the New York Post, her agenda includes such tasks as “a week with Charlie Sheen in L.A., then she wants to go to Brazil. I kid you not.”

Lindsay will reconvene with her Scary Movie 5 bedroom collaborator for an episode of his FX series “Anger Management.”

The legality of Lindsay leaving the country while being tied up in all these courtroom woes seems to be a major grey area. Our suggestion, if she does get to Brazil, is to stay there.

Where she stops, nobody knows… There’s been some investigation by the press as to which rehab facility Lindsay will camp out in for her mandatory 90-day visit. At one point, TMZ even reported that she’d be forced to go to jail because there are no “locked” rehab facilities, which the judge specifically requested, in the Empire State.

Not even her attorney, Mark Heller, knows what’s going on. “We haven't figured it out yet,” he told E! News. “We are working on that now.”

Dina sells her out. GASP. Mama Lohan plans to pen a memoir, but don’t worry it’s totally not going to be about Lindsay.

She told New York’s Daily News:

“It’s totally cathartic, but my kids are like, write the book already. So I think it’s time. I’m doing it more for my children than for me to shed light on what really went down when Lindsay was little and what she had to deal with. It’s actually my life story, not about Lindsay and not about my ex. … I’m from A to M. … I guess I’m at M at this point; I don’t know. Not at Z yet.”

This, of course, will be featured in the books about Lindsay Lohan by Lindsay Lohan’s family members section at your local Barnes & Noble, which, as of last month, is only growing in volume.