Lindsay Lohan's Morgue duty comes just in time for Halloween.
Today Lindsay reported to court for a probationary hearing and while she didn't have to go back to jail, she was slapped with $100,000 bail and was ordered to complete a minimum of 16 hours at the LA County Morgue in the next week. While everyone collectively booed that Lindsay didn't have to go back to the clink, TMZ has learned that her duties at the morgue will be disgusting.
I thought Lindsay would have to do some photocopying and maybe pushing papers around at the morgue, but it turns out her punishment is that she's going to have to be dealing with blood and guts.
Yes, "Guts" is the technical term used by professionals performing autopsies on dead bodies. Lindsay's job description will entail "cleaning tables where the autopsies are performed, and various body parts and fluids often remain for disposal after the body is removed."
You know, this is a great premise for a sh-tty reality series, "Inside the Morgue with Lindsay Lohan!"
She will also be doing general janitorial stuff like sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, washing windows and picking up trash. However, she won’t be handling any of the bodies, because that would be really gross. Like, CSI gross.
Lindsay will have to complete 16 hours at the morgue before she has to appear in court again on November 2.
In case you haven't been following Lindsay Lohan's criminal history and probation hearing as closely as TMZ and I have then let me break it down for you.
Here's the highlight reel of what happened in court this morning:
Lindsay Lohan showed up to court and Judge Sautner scolded Lindsay for getting kicked out of the Downtown Women's Shelter in Los Angeles. She said Lindsay was "looking a gift horse in the mouth." Hey, let's leave the horse out of this.
Then Lindsay Lohan's attorney tried to say that Lindsay made a ton of other "victories" which is totally bogus. Then Sautner slammed her for only doing twelve hours of her community service, "My order was made six months ago. You're praising her for doing twelve hours in six months." BOOM! Judge Sautner shuts in down! The crowd goes wild!
Lindsay said she couldn't complete her community service because she's busy "working" which prompted more zinger's form the honorable Judge Sautner, "She's supposed to be an actress from what I hear. I don't know how much acting she's doing." Judge Sautner is murdering it! Get this woman a televised court show!
Lindsay's lawyer also said her community service was "not fulfilling" and Sautner was basically like, I don't care. The day wrapped up with Lindsay handcuffed, bail set at $100,000 and demands that she complete her service at the morgue.