Fame, fortune, mansions, endless traveling, free swag, parties in St. Tropez; as most celebrities know, the luxury to pretty much do as you please is the kind of life most would trade for in a heartbeat.
Well, the next time you're feeling blue thinking about how some successful star's closet is bigger than your entire apartment, remember not everything that shimmers is gold. Just recite these five names until your kitchen begins looking like the Taj Mahal. You know, to keep things in perspective.
1. Lindsay Lohan – Obviously. From daily court dates and violent brawls with psychics to wrecked friendships and that one Lifetime movie, it's like trading lives with all the lives depicted on every reality show on air right now. Needless to say, if you enjoy having a moment of drama-free silence at least once a week, Lindsay's life is not one we're envious of.
2. Jennifer Aniston – Jennifer just can't live the haters down. Everyone wants to know why she's not married, why she broke up with that one guy named Brad 10 years ago that everyone in the family liked, why she doesn't have any kids yet, why are you going to die alone, why, why, why?! It's like trading lives with the perpetually single relative who gets assaulted with questions at every holiday function. No, thank you.
3. Courtney Love – What glove compartment of an abandoned car is Courtney Love living in these days? Where the '90s rocker's on-stage antics end and off-stage stumbling begins is a blur. Not only would you be trading lives with Courtney, but with the least enviable part of someone's life: the mid-life crisis that never ends.
4. Chris Brown – There are most hated celebrities and then there is Chris Brown. Wouldn't exactly call it fame—notoriety is more appropriate—Chris finds new ways every week to offend a good 70–100% of the population.
5. Tara Reid – Even if Lindsay Lohan cleaned up her act, we still wouldn't trade lives with her because the outcome is Tara "Remember Her?" Reid. She had a future ahead of her in film that even now is still totally eclipsed by her past.