If you can’t log on to Twitter this morning, blame Lady Gaga. The superstar is covering the September issue of Vogue and for those of you who aren’t fashion minded, Vogue is like the Bible and the September issue is the ceremonial first pitch at Fenway Park. This is a big effing deal and Gaga has ruined it by tweeting out a photo of the cover before the magazine was set to be released.
But the part that matters to you non-fashionistas is the stuff Gaga talks about in the pages. Who cares that she’s giving more face than a Vegas-tranny in a Celine Dion tribute show in these photos, here’s Gaga talking about beach sex and dancing topless.
“[I like to] feel a little irresponsible and act like I’m nineteen,” says Gaga, “I’m a complete free spirit, so, even though you don’t see it, I still find time to have sex at night on the beach when no one’s around. Or roll into a bar and get f-cked up and dance with my top off.”
When the heck does Gaga do this? The Internet would find out about it if Gaga was sloshed and boning on the beach. Someone would be like, uhh, there's a person that looks like an alien hooker in a very expensive dress performing sex acts on the beach...wait a minute..is that Lady Gaga, Oh Sh-t!
“It’s just that no one ever see that, because I have great real friends who never let me do it when I would get caught,” says Gaga.
Honestly, do we believe anything Gaga says anymore? She’s so phony yet she admits it! Right after she says the thing about being “irresponsible,” she admits that she hates telling the truth.
“I hate the truth so much that I would prefer a giant dose of bullsh-t any day,” says the bizarre singer.
I rest my case. She's lying.
Gaga also says she loves Japan, because of their “obsession with fantasy,” saying, “I think I sort of just fit right in over here.”