Celebrities can talk. I know, stop the press—that they can focus their brains hard enough to form thoughts and exhale them in the shape of words without a prepared script is pretty newsworthy in and of itself. So we sifted through a week of off-the-cuff statements to find some our favorites.

“I don’t mind exposing my tits because they’re so small!” — Keira Knightley, who talks about getting nude for films, and underestimating how the basic male mind works

“The first time I had sex, I was scared I got the girl pregnant.” — Harry Styles, revealing that One Direction is more grown up than we originally thought

“I have one regret – and that’s I wish I’d asked Harry Styles for women advice.” — Michael Bublé, who obviously hasn’t heard Harry’s quote directly above

“I can’t wait to have a cheeseburger.” — Matthew McConaughey, mustering all the strength left of his flickering 12% life force to let us know what he’s most looking forward to after his drastic weight loss for a current movie role

“I told [my wife] Jenna after we’d been in the bathtub washing our dogs because they’d gotten skunked.” — Channing Tatum, upon learning he was named People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” while coincidentally doing something unsexy

“I’ve actually watched [The Bodyguard] since then. I had to!” — Heidi Klum, on her relationship with her boyfriend bodyguard, showing that life imitates art (yes, The Bodyguard is art)

“Keep ‘em guessing I always say.” — Kristen Stewart, on her best acting role to date, the ongoing PR campaign that is her on-again-off-again relationship with co-vampire Robert Pattinson

“Don’t worry, mama. They’re not taking pictures of you, they’re taking pictures of me.” — Christina Aguilera’s 4-year-old son Max, upstaging his mom in front of some paparazzi like a diva-in-the-making, wonder where he gets it from?

“One person was Scary Spice. I used to listen to her all the time and try to make the same faces she'd make when she was talking." — Nicki Minaj, on where she got her 500 alter ego’s accents

“I want to make love with you. I just don’t care anymore, let’s do it.” — Kirstie Alley, admitting this was her pick up line to Patrick Swayze, leaving us all unshocked after we learned it didn’t work